


Broken Souls

by FerusOlan



Category: Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XIII Series
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family, Freedom, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Pain, Slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-07-28 17:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7650538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FerusOlan/pseuds/FerusOlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Cocoon is divided by the poor who can barely feed themselves and those who rule over them, take anything and anyone they want. Once oppressed herself, Lightning is lucky enough to make a livable wage as a Soldier. Orphaned as a boy, Hope's innate beauty has made him the prize comfort slave of his prior matriarch. However, two souls bound by the pain of fate threaten the fabric of it all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 50,000 Gil

Setting - AU. The people of Cocoon are separated by class. The poorer class has been subservient to those above them for many decades. Fear of resistance to their rule has led to even more harsh treatment. Although still against the law, the practices of indentured servitude and slavery have grown in recent years by the higher classes, and those below them have had no choice but to turn a blind eye. However, two souls bound by the pain of fate threaten to unravel it all…

**1**

**50,000 Gil**

Lightning stepped out onto the balcony of her small, dilapidated apartment. Hand to her head, she reached into her coat pocket for her pack of red hundreds. She hissed through her teeth at the sight of only one cigarette in the paper pack. He was not a one cigarette problem.

With the other hand, she reached for her lighter and flicked the metal hinge. What followed was the familiar metal-to-metal clang of her lighter as the compartment opened to expose its core. She pressed her thumb against the flint wheel and grazed the wheel against the rivet inducing a faint but adequate enough spark to ignite the wick. The flame quickly became a soothing glow against the darkness of the night that lay before her. Raising her last cigarette to the source of light, she took an even drag from the filter as the tip became gently caressed by the flame. Once the initial resistance had dissipated, she drew against the filter more fervently as the end of the cigarette illuminated against the gloss of her eyes and the sweat on her neck. Finally satisfied, she released her breath and a faint sliver of her pain with it.

 _I can't believe what happened. I can't believe I did that. I jeopardized my job, my financial security, my plan, everything. All for what? For some stupid kid who won't stop crying,_ Lightning thought as she glanced back through her balcony door and into the dimly lit living room where the young boy sat on the couch.

The boy looked back at her and then frantically down to his feet. He clutched at his disheveled, dirty shorts with his dirt-smeared hands. Tears streamed down the sides of his face one by one as they smeared the dirt and dust from his cheeks down to his chin.

_Tsk. Holy hell! There he goes again!_

Lightning blew through her cigarette faster than her satisfaction could keep up. Debating with herself on whether or not to deal with the boy or go out for more smokes, she made her decision. She stepped inside and faced the boy with her hands on her hips as she towered over his quivering body.

"I'm going out for cigarettes. Stay here, and stop crying already!" She demanded.

"But I-" He began.

She was already gone. The door had slammed closed behind her before he could say anything to her. Residing himself to the cramped, unfamiliar room he was in, he brought his legs to his chest and laid on his side. He couldn't understand why she was so cold to him now. He hated his life before, but he was still afraid of what had yet to come. This time, instead of down his face, his tears streamed across it.

 _Just think. You got this. Just think this through,_ Lightning thought to herself as she made the walk from her apartment building to the corner store.

She replayed the events of earlier that day in her mind for what felt like the hundredth time. She was finishing her patrol for the day. The Guardian Corps had her on thin ice. The higher ups usually chose their own people for police and military positions, but she had clawed her way through the slums and filth of Cocoon to enlist. Only small percentage ever completed basic training, and despite her skill and brute will, her success did not come without a bit of luck. Guardian Corps officers served the people, her people. Unlike PSICOM who conducted covert assignments and served mostly the rich, Lightning found herself at home with the GC's local efforts. Despite the lower status of the Guardian Corps compared to Sanctum's beloved PSICOM and their Secret Service officers, they did good things for people who needed them, or at least they tried. However, her social status coupled with her short temper had led to many misunderstandings and disciplinary actions against her badge. Today was one of those days.

Just before deciding to turn into Bodhum's 13th precinct for the end of her watch, she spotted something she wished to Etro she hadn't. A mangy, white-haired, greasy faced boy no more than sixteen or seventeen had taken off down the street in front of her as fast as his legs could carry him. Two men in suits were chasing after him.

"Stop!" She demanded as she drew her pistol, "Don't move!"

The two men had chased the boy into a dead-ended alley when they heard her voice. She chased after them and raised her weapon towards them.

Disobeying her first order, she repeated herself more forcefully. "I said stop! Don't move!"

"You don't know what you're doing here, cop. Walk away," One of the men replied.

"Screw you. Hands up. Get against that wall."

They did as they were told. The boy cowered in the corner silently.

"Hands against the wall and spread your feet apart, both of you," Lightning said as she approached the man closest to her, "Got anything on you I need to know about?"

"I'm armed," He replied.

"We both are," His partner said.

She tensed as she searched with her eyes the outlines of her two suspects. "Where?!"

"Right hip," They said in unison.

Lightning cautiously relieved them of their weapons and tucked their pistols into her waistband. If Lightning was good at anything, it was establishing a commanding presence no matter who was in front of her.

She continued to give orders as she searched them. "Keep your hands where I can see them."

Her hands strayed around the first man's coat pockets until it had touched upon what she was looking for. She retrieved what felt like a wallet from the man's jacket pocket and pried it open with her teeth. When she glanced every so briefly away from the two assailants to look at the object in her hand, her heart stopped.

"You're… you're PSICOM Secret Service?" Her question only reinforced her state of disbelief.

"Yeah, and you have no idea what you've done," One of the men said to her as he turned to approach her.

Her voice became louder as they continued to cross her orders "Did I say you could bloody move!?"

The man whimpered back to the wall as quickly as he could, her presence making sure of it.

"What about the kid? Huh? What's with that?!"

The smart-mouthed SS officer furthered his responses. "He's none of your concern. He doesn't belong to you."

"Who does he 'belong to' then? Hm?" She demanded as she pressed the barrel of her weapon into the man's temple.

PSICOM SS was well above her pay grade. She hated them. All of the GC hated them. She never saw eye-to-eye with the GC, but this was one thing they agreed on. She had seen this kind of thing before. But before, they weren't young like he was, and they weren't as physically battered either. The sight of his pain and helplessness was beginning to induce a dangerous state of emotion replacing control. No doubt they were SS assigned to some asshole aristocrat who had "rights" to the boy as they called it. They could call it whatever they wanted. It was clear what they were after. However, despite their affiliation, it was clear by their compliance they would rather risk her alone than draw undue attention to whatever task they had undertaken. Too much public attention would risk bad news to whomever they answered to, and it seemed to the Soldier that their boss was not kind to those who made one problem many.

"We are not able to discuss that with you. Just give us the boy and-"

"Shut the hell up!" She screamed, "Just shut the hell up and do as you're goddamn told!"

Lightning unchained a pair of cuffs from her cartridge belt and tossed them onto the ground next to the men.

She turned to the man closest to her as the cuffs hit the ground. "You! Put one of the those on your partner there and then get on your knees. Both of you get on your knees."

Once he had done as he was told, she took her spare cuffs hanging from her radio's antenna and placed them around the wrists of the other man.

"Bury your faces into the wall in front of you and don't move or so help me God I will break your knees," She ordered.

Once the two men were subdued, she holstered her weapon and approached the boy. He fell back onto his ass and shuffled away from her until his back was pressed against the fence that blocked the alley.

Lightning tentatively approached the boy before attempting to speak. "Relax, kid. I'm not gonna hurt you. "What's your name?"

"Leave me alone," The boy replied.

Lightning holstered her weapon and knelt down to him. "I can't do that. I'm trying to help you."

"You don't understand! No one does! What makes you different from the rest of them?!" The boy was clearly desperate, his words being only one of many indicator.

"Look, it's getting late. Help me out," She said as she reached for her flashlight and directed the beam at the boy's face.

"Stop! Please!"

"You… your face…" Lightning said upon seeing him in the light, "What happened to you?!"

Tears welled in his eyes as he tried to respond. "You don't know what they'll do to me! It always ends like this! Who are you to take that away from her?!"

"Who is 'her?' What's going on?!" Lightning asked as she bent down to the ground and reached out her arms for the boy.

When she had done so, he instinctively curled back and away from her as his arms jerked up in front of his face.

His tearing finally degraded into whimpering as she reached for him. "Stop! Please stop! Don't! I'm begging you! Please don't hurt me!" I'll do anything, I swear. Just please don't…"

"You're really afraid of me, aren't you… I'm not going to hurt you, okay? Please, just take this," She said, hand outstretched to him as she held out half of an uneaten bag of jerky.

He snatched it away from her and dug his hand into the bag. Jerky was a go-to food for the Soldier. An incredible shelf life and easy-to-carry nature made it a first choice amongst Soldiers in the field as it could be tucked under one's cartridge belt with ease. Upon producing the first piece of dried meat, the boy clamped down onto it with his teeth before releasing his bite and clutching the side of his mouth in pain. He twisted and turned back and forth on the ground as he nursed the side of his face.

His newfound found only worried her more. "Are you okay? Let me see."

She crawled a bit further towards him. Upon noticing her approach, he squirmed away from her until she had wrapped her arms around him. Placing one hand behind his head, She brought his face into her view. He had stopped fighting. She wondered if she had really earned his trust with the food or if he simply was to exhausted to fight her. Ultimately, she knew a boy like him would never give his trust so easily. When she finally was able to get a good look at him, her heart stopped. He was a beautiful young man with the features any person would die for. Save for the specks of blood that littered about, his hair was as striking and white as a welcome morning snowfall. Cute was an exceptionally lacking term to describe him. How someone could bruise and batter a boy like him, she could not understand.

"We'll get you something softer to eat, okay?" She urged the young man.

Lightning reached down and produced her radio. Bringing it up to her lips, she took a deep breath to calm herself before speaking.

"Farron to central. I have a 'two-forty', child, and two armed assailants. I need a paddy and a bus to my location. I'm in the alley two blocks north of the train station," She said into the radio.

"Central to Farron. Please advise. Did you say you have two 'four-seventeens' and a child?"

Lightning glanced menacingly at the two subdued men. "I did. There are likely more of them. There always are."

"Have a seat," Lieutenant Amodar ordered the pink-haired officer.

Lightning did as she was told and took a seat in one of the chairs facing the Lieutenant's desk. Lt. Amador took his seat in the larger chair behind the desk. His office was small, and the building that surrounded it was old. His metal window blinds clanged gently against the glass whenever someone walked by or a door was opened.

"You've caused me a lot of grief, Soldier. Countless times you've crossed PSICOM or a Sanctum official and I've covered your ass every single time. You're a good Soldier. You do what you do to help the person in front of you. I know this, and because of it, I've been willing to accept whatever crap you bring with you through those doors. Farron, I like you. Hell, I trust you. So, I am going to give you one chance to explain to me why there's a teenage boy eating through our breakroom donuts and why there are two PSICOM SS officers in my holding cells downstairs.

Lightning assumed a straight posture and kept her hands at her side. "Sir, I will do my best."

"Oh, you're going to do better than your best," He said as he leaned forward onto his desk, "And whatever it is you're about to tell me better be real good. Do you know who is on their way right now? Do you?"

"I can't say I do, sir."

"Commander Jihl Nabaat of PSICOM is on her way right now. After you arrived, I received a phone call. Those two men and that boy have something to do with her, and you brought that whole mess upon the rest of us. Look out there," Amodar said as he directed her attention to the detective pool of desks outside his office window.

Lightning looked at the rest of the precinct staring back at her. They were angry and confused to say the least. After a few moments, the other officers staring into the office directed their gazes away and busied themselves with made up paperwork or fake conversation.

Amodar pointed out his window vehemently "Do they look happy to you, Farron?! Do I look happy to you?!"

"No, sir," She mumbled into her collar.

Amodar lowered his arm, replacing the strong gesture with a demanding tone of voice. "No, Farron. We are not happy. More importantly, I am not happy. Now, with that in mind, I want you to tell me what the hell happened out there."

The boy was sitting in the breakroom. After Lightning had gone to her locker to retrieve a bottle of over the counter painkillers, she returned to the boy and gave him the bottle along with a few of the donuts lying around before reporting to the Lieutenant's office. He had painfully finished off the first donut by mashing it between the roof of his mouth and his tongue. Before starting on the second, a broad-shouldered, blond-haired man in similar clothing to his pink-haired savior approached him.

"Heya, kid," The man said.

The boy stopped eating and did his best to look away from the man.

Snow approached approached the break room table and they boy seated beside it. "Not much of a talker then?"

The boy still did not respond. He only continued to look away.

"I'm Snow. The woman you were with was Lightning. She's my partner, sort of. I see it that way, but she's always been kind of a lone wolf," Snow said as he took a seat next to the boy.

Snow tried to reach for the boy's hand, but the boy only retreated away from him to the other side of the room.

Snow's concern became increasingly evident in his voice. "Take it easy, kid. I'm not gonna hurt ya. C'mon, have a seat. Tell me what's going on. Are you hungry still? I got some cold stew and a soda in the fridge my girlfriend packed for me. How's that sound?"

After taking several moments to consider this option, the boy reclaimed his seat upon deciding the reward was worth the risk. Snow retrieved his food and presented it to the boy.

"Here," Snow said, placing a plastic spork in the boy's hands, "While you're eating, is it okay if I ask you a few questions?"

The boy reluctantly nodded with a mouthful of broth and pulled meat.

"Okay, cool. What's your name?"

No answer came from the boy.

"Okay… Parents?"

The boy shook his head.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Where are you from?"

No reply.

"Where are you living? Who are you living with?"

The boy's face turned as white as his hair. He was looking up and through the threshold of the break room door out into the pool of desks. His hand was raised, pointing to a woman surrounded by two men and one woman dressed similarly to his pursuers from earlier.

"Looks like she's here," Amodar said as he peeked out of his office window, "I'm gonna open that door. You do not speak. Is that clear?"

Lightning nodded.

The Lieutenant picked himself up from his desk and made his way to the door.

Amodar opened his office door and solicitously greeted the PSICOM official. "Commander Nabaat! Please come in! Welcome."

The Commander strode into the office and made her way to the other side of the desk. After callously inspecting it, she deemed it worthy enough to sit behind and claimed the Lieutenant's chair. Her three escorts resumed their positions around her with one on each side and another behind her. Amodar frustratedly took a seat next to Lightning.

"My men," The Commander said, "You will release them and their belongings to me at once."

Amodar maintained his compliant attitude. "Of course!"

"Like hell! You think that-" Lightning nearly squealed.

Nabaat, in a near acost fashion, approached the angry Soldier. "Officer Farron! I was not speaking to you, was I?"

Lightning gritted her teeth angrily to quiet herself.

"The boy as well. He will be remanded to my custody," Nabaat calmly stated.

Amodar brought his hand behind his head as he struggled to keep up his prior disposition. "Well, sir… about that…"

Commander Nabaat stood from the desk and made her way over to the lowly GC Lieutenant. Now towering over him, she leaned forward and put herself inches from his face.

"Did you have something you wanted to say, Lieutenant?" She asked with an eerily soothing tone.

Lightning put herself between Amodar and Nabaat before issuing her own words of defiance. "The boy's parents will be found and notified of his condition. His presence will require an investigation into his physical and mental state after he is evaluated at the hospital."

Nabaat's staff all trailed their leading hands towards their hips. The Commander waved her hand once in the air. Doing so prompted her staff to relax their hands back at their sides. Nabaat put her lips millimeters from the young officer's ear.

"Do you know what that boy is?" Nabaat whispered, "Do you know who I am? I am the wrath of fury and vengeance that can destroy both the boy and everyone in this building with the snap of my fingers. That boy belongs to me. I paid for him. I own him. I will have what is mine."

"Slavery is against the-"

"Does it look like I give a damn?! Hm?!" Nabaat screamed into her ear.

Lightning grimaced in pain at the deafening sound of Nabaat's voice in her ear.

Amodar urged reason with his subordinate. "Farron, if you know what's good for you then just do as you are ordered!"

"Like hell I will! That boy belongs with his family!" Lightning exclaimed.

Nabaat traced her fingers up along the side of her thigh as she countered the Soldier's words. "He has none. He has no one. No family, no friends, he only has what I give him."

"I don't care," Lightning said angrily, "I am not letting a monster like you take him away."

"Do you know _what_ he is, officer Farron? He is property. He is my property. He is weak, young, and very… alluring. Do you know what his purpose is? Do you? He makes me happy. He has made many of us happy. You see it too, don't you? Those enrapturing eyes, the silky white hair, the tender cheeks, the petite frame, he is the ultimate remedy to a lonely night, and he will never say no."

Lightning's hands clenched into fists showing the whites of her knuckles.

"But now, after all this time, he is used goods," Nabaat sighed, "He will soon age faster than the demand for him will allow. However, even used goods have a price to someone."

Lightning whipped her hands to her sides and clenched her fists. "I won't let you take him! "Over my dead body."

"You can't defy me," Nabaat said as a chuckle brewed within her chest, "You have no power over me. You are just like that boy. You are nothing. You are no one, and you hide your paltriness behind the futile guise of a badge. What could you possibly-"

Nabaat's words had just the effect she desired. Lightning's desperation now encroached any cognitive awareness she held prior, and her words would show it. "I'll buy him!. Name your price and then get the hell out of his life!"

"Hm…" Nabaat said, arms crossed in front of her as she studied the angry Soldier, "How about, say… fifty thousand gil?"

Nabaat's proposal threw the Soldier into a daze. "Fifty… thousand? But that's everything I-"

"It's settled then!" Nabaat said as a smile drew across her face. She snapped her fingers in the air prompting one of her men to approach her. Her man produced a device from his coat and presented it to the Commander. Nabaat turned the device on, illuminating its screen. Satisfied with what she saw, she gave the device back to her subordinate.

"The funds have been transferred from your account. He's all yours!" She said happily as she turned towards the door, pausing slightly to leave the dumbfounded Soldier with a wink, "Don't worry. I'll leave you two alone! There are more fish like him in this bountiful sea!"

With those words, Commander Nabaat and her staff were gone. Lightning and Lieutenant Amador were left to the silence of the room.

Lightning snapped herself out of her daze and yanked her phone out of her pocket. She opened her mobile banking app, confirming what had just transpired. She sat back down in her chair, staring blankly towards the wall in front of her.

"What did you just do?..." Amodar whispered, "Are you really doing this? Are you really going to take him home?"

Lightning continued to stare blankly at the wall in front of her as her words left her lips. "I… don't know…"

Amodar put his head in his palm as he pondered the ever building trouble Lightning's words had thrust upon them. "You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?"

"I need to go," Lightning said as she dazedly picked herself up and moved toward the door.

Lightning paused, hands grasping the door handle, as Amodar chased her exit with his last words. "Farron, This isn't over, you and me. Got that?"

Snow had intently watched the Lieutenant's door after the woman and her three subordinates stepped behind it. Once what felt like an eternity had finally passed, the woman stepped out of the office and scanned the rest of the floor with her eyes. Her eyes met Snow's, indicating that her attention was needed in the breakroom.

Nabaat strode to the break room as all eyes were staring intently at her. Once at the threshold of the door, Snow stood from the table to block her entry.

Snow braced himself as his words left him. "Now is not a good time. "Please move along."

"Officer, step aside," Nabaat said calmly.

Snow silently refused.

Unaccustomed to so much disobedience in such a short period, her new choice of words reflected her growing anger. "That's an order, officer!"

Snow reluctantly complied, and he let the Commander make her way through the door and towards the table. As her three staff tried to follow, he stepped within the door frame again.

"They stay out here. No exception," Snow demanded.

"Fine."

Nabaat sat at the table and raised her hand to the boy's cheek. This time, he did not struggle or wince away from the contact. He complied in every physical and emotional sense that was required of him as if he was conditioned to do so.

"Hope," Nabaat began, "You belong with that woman now. Understood?"

Hope nodded silently.

Nabaat leaned in towards Hope's face and caressed his ear with her hand. Her lips now a mere inch away from his, she closed her eyes and held her breath before making contact. Hope returned her kiss with his own efforts, meeting her as she pressed herself into him. Despite his willingness, Hope placed his hand on his bare leg beneath the hem of his shorts and dug his nails into his flesh, drawing a faint amount of blood.

Snow charged towards the table and issued a menacing gaze. "That's enough! It's time for you to go!"

Nabaat had made her statement, and she was satisfied with her efforts. She stood from the table and stepped away from the boy. Before she stepped away from the break room, she paused to turn back to Hope for one last word.

"I hope you two have plenty of fun evenings ahead of you."

With that, she and her staff left the desk pool as a bellied laughter broiled from Nabaat's lungs. After passing through the double doors and into the stairwell, her maniacal laughter could still be heard through the silence of the building.

Hope took another spoonful of stew and poured it into his mouth as his tears dripped into the bowl.

 


	2. God Damn It

**Opheline - I hope I can give you more chances to read the things you love for many days to come.**

**Lucy - Vulnerability is a big theme with this one. You hit it dead on.**

**LadyAerion - Drama and unpredictability have plagued Light and Hope their whole lives. They're gonna have to live with it a little longer, but this time they have each other. You ask the right questions... :)**

**2**

**God Damn it**

The door to Lieutenant Amador's office finally opened again. The whispering and perturbed conversation that occupied the pool of desks came to an abrupt halt. Seeing the Lieutenant and Lightning emerge from the office, Snow knew that now was his chance at some answers.

"Lightning, what was that? What's going on?" Snow asked his partner as she walked past him towards the stairwell doors.

"Just go get the kid and follow me." She replied.

Snow stamped back into the break room where Hope still sat and gingerly approached him.

"Hey, kid. We gotta get going, okay?" Snow said as he took the empty bowl away from him and stuffed it into a plastic grocery bag.

Hope nodded.

"I gotta go get my stuff and get my gear checked in across the hall. Just stay right here. I'll be back." Snow said.

Snow stepped out of the break room and made his way towards Lightning. She was leaning against the wall next to the stairwell door with her arms crossed in front of her.

"Light, I gotta check my gear in across the hall. Give me a sec," He said.

"Hold up. I'll go with you," She replied.

The duo worked their way through the desks and the bustle of the floor towards the hallway door that separated their unit with the other departments. At the end of the hallway was what looked like a bank teller's counter surrounded by thick cage wire. A sole officer sat behind the counter watching a portable television. Snow approached the cage and presented the man his cartridge belt and radio before stepping away. As they made their way back to the breakroom, Snow was the first to speak.

"Is the boy a… you know? I've heard about that kind of thing, but you don't really ever see it out here in Bodhum," Snow said.

"He was," Lightning replied.

"What about now? Even if it's Commander Nabaat, the GC can't just turn a blind eye to this," Snow said.

"What choice do we have? PSICOM SS are way above our pay grade and there are even those within PSICOM that wouldn't dare cross Commander Nabaat," Lightning replied.

As they finally reached the break room, Snow put a hand on his partner's shoulder to stop her from going any further. He raised his arm and pointed his finger at the boy still sitting at the table.

"You know, you say those things, but she's gone and he's still here. What happened in Lieutenant Amador's office? Something must have happened or he wouldn't still be here." Snow said.

* * *

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Serah screamed.

Lightning and Snow were standing outside the precinct's doors and in the cold of the night. Lightning kept Hope in tow behind her, his hand inside of hers. Tonight, Serah had driven down to the precinct to pick up her boyfriend and take him home. She had been waiting for nearly an hour now and was not too pleased that both Snow and Lightning were not answering their phones. Lightning's latest news did not make things any better.

"You _bought_ him?! You _BOUGHT_ him?! Why?! Why would you do this?!" She screamed at her sister, "You can't just buy people!"

"What choice did I have?! What would you have done?!" Lightning screamed back.

Serah took a step back and brought her palms over her face.

"Just… let me think for a second," Serah said.

"You know what they were doing to him?" Snow pleaded her.

"Yes! I heard you two the first time! But this… this is just too much…" Serah replied, "What are you going to do, Lightning? Are you going to raise a fifteen-year-old?"

"Sixteen," Lightning corrected, "...probably."

"Oh! Well, that changes everything! Given that he's 'probably sixteen', there's no way you could pass up that deal!" Serah said facetiously.

"Serah! Knock it off! He's standing right here!" Snow exclaimed as he pointed his fingers behind his partners back.

Lightning stepped to the side, revealing Hope having hidden behind her.

"Oh…." Serah said, her tone now drastically changed, "Um… hello."

Hope gave no response. He only gripped onto his protector's hand harder, put his head down, and let his newly formed tears drip from his face and onto the cold pavement below.

"Oh, no no no no no! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean what I said! Really! I was just frustrated, okay?" Serah said as she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around the boy.

"He's fine, he does that. Just put some food in him and he's good," Lightning said as she reached into her pocket for a light and a smoke.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" Serah growled from the back of her throat, "Don't you have any idea what he's been through?! Don't you know the horrible things he's had to suffer?!"

"Wha…?" Lightning said, "I'm sorry, but what the hell is going on with you? You were so against his presence earlier and now this?!"

"Okay, you two! Take it easy!" Snow said.

"Shut up, Snow!" The Farron sisters said in unison.

Snow sighed and backed off.

"How much?" Serah asked.

"Um…" Lightning trailed.

"How much?!" Serah asked again.

"Fifty," Lightning said.

"For a person? That's less than what Snow and I paid for a-"

"Thousand…"Lightning finished.

"FIFTY THOUSAND GIL?! ARE YOU MAD?!" Serah screamed.

"Calm down, Serah!" Lightning and Snow said together.

"That's you entire life's savings! What the hell are you gonna do now? What money do you have to take care of him?" Serah asked.

"Well, to be honest," Lightning said as she took a desperate drag on her cigarette, "I was kinda hoping that you guys could help me with that?"

"We don't have any money, Light," Serah said.

"Not money! I mean, you know… like… take the boy home with you guys some nights... like tonight... and tomorrow... and the night after-," Lightning said.

"Sis, Snow and I live in an apartment about the same size as yours and we want to get married and have a family. To be fair, the logical place would be for him to stay with you," Serah replied.

"I was afraid you'd say that," Lightning said, sighing, "Well, could you two at least-"

Lightning was interrupted by the most ferocious stomach growling any of them had ever heard in their lives. Serah released herself from Hope and the three of them stepped back to stare at him.

"I'm so sorry," He said under his breath.

"See, what did I tell you?" Lightning said.

"Yeah, I see it now…" Serah replied, "Okay, let's get out of here. It's late and he needs to eat something anyway. Snow and I are gonna head home. Light, you take him somewhere or let him dig through your fridge or something."

"Wait! Serah, I don't know that I can do this!" Lightning pleaded.

"Where's he gonna live if not with you?" Serah asked.

"There are families that-"

"Lightning, foster families will never compare to someone like you. We both know how inadequate and dangerous some of them can be. You think he's gonna thrive in the system?" Serah said.

"We turned out okay," Lightning said.

"No, Snow and his family found me, and Amador looked after you. Or do you not remember?"

"Okay, okay. I'll take him home," Lightning said as she buried her cigarette between the ground and her boot, "Oh! Um… Serah?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh… can I borrow some money?"

Serah nodded and gave Lightning the thirty or so gil she had in her pocket.

Snow and Serah turned away from Lightning and her charge and made their way back towards Serah's car. As they drove away, Lightning turned back to Hope.

"So uh… you um…" Lightning began, "I'm Lightning Farron. This is long overdue but um…"

"Thank you, Master Farron," Hope said, "Thank you for everything. I will serve you to the best-"

"Stop that, okay?" Lightning interjected, "I'm not your master."

"But you-"

"I know, I know… But you're not my… you know. I didn't 'purchase' you, got that? If anything, I bought you your freedom."

"Thank you, Master-"

"Lightning. Call me Lightning."

"Thank you, Master Lightning."

"Without the 'master'."

"...Miss Lightning…"

Lightning's face turned red at his words. Hope had one arm across his body, clutching at the other, as he turned his face away in embarrassment from his own words. He hid his winsome face behind his white-haired bangs and shuffled his right front to the side and back again. Lightning averted her eyes as well to try to hide the excitement that she was feeling. Guilt immediately followed, and she promised herself to shoot herself in the foot when she got home.

"Is something wrong, Mast-... Miss Lightning? Did I say something to upset you? I am very sorry for doing so. I know what they say about me is true. I know how terrible I can be, and if there is anything that I-"

"No… you didn't do anything, Hope. It's just… only my sister is ever called 'Miss'. No one has ever called me that before."

"Please let me take it back if it upsets you."

"I wasn't upset, okay? Just… forget it. My name is Lightning. No formalities or titles, got that? Just call me Lightning."

Hope raised his head. For the first time, Lightning was able to truly see his face as his hair fell away from his forehead. The illumination of the streetlight caressed a gentle glow across his porcelain visage. His hairless face and tender cheeks laid the foundation of two majestic, rolling hills cast under the beautiful and inviting glow of each of the warm and wide blue-green suns above them. His white hair layered itself around his face like the caring arms of a lover lost to the depths of time but never forgotten. His fragile, sensitive lips pushed their edges to the sides of his face in supple form and parted just enough for a few simple words to make their escape.

"Thank you, Lightning."

* * *

Finally home, Lightning ordered Hope to take a seat on the couch before stepping out to her apartment balcony for her last cigarette. She was still reeling from earlier. The words he had spoken and the expression on his face earlier had brought more pain than joy, and she struggled to understand why. No matter how many times she pictured his youthful face in her mind, and no matter how many times it pained her to do so, she continued to do so again and again. The effect he had on her was like magic, a dark and cruel magic. For the first time in her life, she felt a lack of control of her emotions. The burning sensation in her chest only exacerbated her frustration.

Leaving Hope by himself in the apartment, she made her way to the corner store for more cigarettes. She trudged the short walk to the store with heavy feet and drooping shoulders. As she drove him to the apartment, she couldn't help but be cold and distant to him no matter how much it hurt him. She was becoming just as confused and scared as he was. By the time they had arrived at the apartment, Lightning had resolved to not engage him for the rest of the night. There was something dangerous brewing within her, and she needed to do everything she could to keep it at bay. Her misguided and unspoken good intentions did little to cessate his tears.

"Red hundreds," Lightning said to the store attendant behind the counter.

The attendant reached behind himself without saying a word and produced a pack of reds from behind him and tossed it onto the counter.

"That's all for ya, boss?" He asked her.

Lightning glanced over to her left where a standup glass heater housed premade pizzas.

"I'll take one of those pizzas too," She said.

"Which one? Pepperoni?"

"The freshest one," She replied.

"This is new for you," He said.

"Yeah… some stuff came up, I guess," Lightning said.

"Crazy day?" He asked.

Lightning threw down some gil on the counter and took the cigarettes and pizza in her hands.

"You have no idea."

* * *

Lightning stood outside her apartment door, key in hand. She remained motionless as she tried to gather her thoughts and keep them together.

 _Just go in there and face this head on. You can do this,_ She told herself

Before she had a chance to open the door, the door swung open for her. Standing on the other side of threshold stood Hope with wanting, anticipatory eyes.

"I… um… I'm back," Lightning said.

Hope nodded.

"I brought some pizza. Do you want to eat it?"

Hope nodded again.

Lightning stepped past the boy awkwardly and placed the pizza on the coffee table in front of the couch. The apartment had three rooms, a living room big enough for a couch, television, and sink; and bedroom and a bathroom. It had always seemed too small for her, but when she flicked the overhead light switch by the front door, the apartment seemed bigger than it ever had been. It was immaculate. The table tops and once cluttered carpet were without dust, stain, or garbage. Lightning stared around the room in disbelief. What would have taken her hours had taken Hope twenty minutes.

"You did this?" She asked.

Hope nodded once more.

"I… well… Hope… thank you, but you didn't have to do this," She stammered.

"Lightning?" Hope began, his endearing smile fashioning across his face once again.

"Yes?" She replied with a labored breath.

"Thank you, Lightning. Welcome home."

It was happening again. The frustration and unidentifiable fervor she had felt before were invading her mind once again. Lightning's psyche permitted her one thought and only one.

_God damn it... What is wrong with me?_

"Just take the pizza into the bedroom. Eat and go to sleep," Lightning ordered.

"Where will you sleep?" Hope asked.

"Just go," She replied.

Hope did as he was told and made his way toward the bedroom door.

"Good night, Lightning," Hope whispered before letting the door close behind him.

Lightning took the television remote and jabbed her thumb into the power button.

_"God damn it..."_


	3. Affectionate Confidant

**Opheline - I will try to answer your all questions in due time, hopefully sooner than later. Your "babbling" is always welcome. I hope you will reward me with it many more times in the future. :)**

**Prince_fiend - I am happy you are pleased with the story and Lightning's character, and I will do my best to keep this going.**

**3**

**Affectionate Confidant**

*Knock Knock Knock*

Lightning jolted herself up from the couch and sprawled onto the floor. After a quick few moments to regain composure, she picked herself up, grabbed her sidearm from the coffee table, and made her way to the front door.

"Who's there?" She demanded, steadying her sidearm behind her leg as she peered through the peephole.

"It's the building manager, Mr. Olan. Someone left a package for you," Came a reply from the other side of the door.

A moment of relief washed over her as she opened the door.

"Good morning, sir," She said.

"Uh huh… quick question. Anything going on I should know about?" The manager asked.

"What do you mean?" She replied nervously.

"Well, there was a lot of noise coming from your place last night, and some… interesting looking people left this for you at the front desk," He said as he presented her a cardboard box, "You know, if you are having someone stay with you, it's gonna affect your rent. I don't want to be a hassle to you, but there's not much I can do about this."

Lightning studied the box. It had no shipping label. Only 'Lightning and Hope' were written in permanent marker across the top.

"I um… I got a dog! Yeah!" Lightning stuttered.

"Oh? I see. Boy or girl dog?"

"Boy."

"It's name is Hope, then?"

"Um… yes, sir!" Lightning said through awkward laughter.

"I thought so," Mr. Olan replied, "Here, take this then."

"What is this?" Lightning asked as he presented her a second item.

"It's a collar. Someone gave it to me as a move-in deposit way back in the day when I first started."

The collar was made of an ethereal leather and handstitched. It was also wide enough to fit a slotted metal plate across the front of it. The plate was fastened into the leather by two clasps. The metal plate had yet to be engraved or pressed.

"It looks expensive," Lightning said as she examined it, "It looks handmade too. Are the metal pieces… is this silver?!"

"Supposedly. Otherwise, I don't think I would have accepted it."

"I can't take this from you," Lightning stated, "This is way too much."

"Don't worry about it. As long as someone can find a use for it, that's all that matters."

 _I really shouldn't accept this,_ She thought.

"Thank you very much," Lightning said with a smile.

_What is wrong with you?!_

"You're welcome."

_Just give it back already! This is wrong!_

"I… uh-" Lightning began.

"Okay then. Just bring me the deposit for a pet by the end of the week. Sorry to bother you," He said.

"Okay! Bye!" Lightning replied as took the deliveries from his hands and quickly shut the door.

_GOD DAMN IT!_

Lightning set the box down on the coffee table and stared at the collar.

_He's not a dog, Lightning! He's not a slave either. Why would you accept this?!_

"It's pretty…" She whispered to herself as she stared down at it.

_Huh… it really is pretty…_

Lightning heard a shuffling from the other side of the bedroom door. She frantically hid the collar behind her back and stared at the bedroom door. After several moments of nothing happening, she breathed a sigh of relief and directed her attention towards the cardboard box. Prying it open with her hands, she was greeted first to a note just under the flaps of the box.

_My Dear Mrs. Farron,_

_I hope you are enjoying yourself. You have recently made a quite a big investment, so it is important for you to enjoy as much of it that you can. You may not have as many years to nurture that investment as others do, but even a late start is better than not starting at all._

_No doubt by now you must have realized why he is so highly pursued. His presence is like a magic that envelops and entraps you in its web of dalliance. Simply looking at his face, I'm sure, has induced a litany of venereal frustrations. Do not be afraid them. He is not yours to fear..._

_Despite his obvious use, which I hope you have had the pleasure to enjoy by now, he is very devoted and forbearing. He will tend to your daily needs and lie with you as a companion like a treasured pet. Whatyou want him to be, however, is a choice you will have to make._

_I've included in this parcel his papers: birth certificate, social identification card, and his sale and use history with the information of his previous matriarchs in case you need to contact them. Included are his personal belongings including clothes. Lastly, nearly all "investments" of today's day and age wear a tag with their name, region of residence, and the name of the individual who has the rights to their person._

_I can't stress the use the of tag enough. A prize like him is well sought after, even by people more powerful than me. He will never truly be free no matter how much you wish it so. Unless he wears the tag and you actively embrace your new role, he can be taken from you at any moment._

_-Your affectionate confidant,_ Jihl

Lightning clutched her hands furiously together in an attempt to curb their uncontrollable trembling. Anger was there, yes, but what truly plagued her was the realization and fear that each evil, written word she had just read there lied absolute truth. He evoked feelings and emotions inside of her that she could not understand. When she looked at him, the turmoil that brewed inside of her manifested into physical pain and frustration in more places than one. His demeanor and incomparable features were more of a curse than a gift. It was more than that, something sinister and outside of terrestrial form that gave him the power he had over her.

She also knew that her promises of freedom were futile at best. People like Nabaat could still snatch him up and take him away to do whatever unspeakable things they desired. Only a certain class of people are truly free, and he would never be one of them. The fear that she would have to assume such a detestable role in his life to keep him even remotely safe was beginning to take hold.

* * *

"Snow, wake up," Serah said from her side of the bed.

"Ugh…zzzzzzzz..."

"Snow! Wake up!" Serah exclaimed as she turned sideways in the bed and committed her body weight to a kick into Snow's side.

"OW! What? What's happening?" Snow bellowed.

"Let's go over there," Serah said.

"Where?" Snow asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"To Light's place. I wanna check on them."

"Can this wait?"

"No!"

"But it's… Etro's sake, it's seven-thirty in the morning on a Saturday. Do we have to do this now?" Snow asked.

"I'm worried about them! What if she gave him milk and he's intolerant? Or what if it's spoiled?"

"Serah, he's practically grown. He's not one of your grade school students, okay? And she's a competent enough person. She'll figure it out."

"Well, what if he caught a cold from standing outside yesterday?"

"She'll take care of it."

"What if he steps on a piece of glass or a nail?"

"She'll take care of it. Why would that happen, anyway?"

"What if-"

"Serah, please stop. You're being irrational," Snow said. Even before the words had finished leaving his mouth, he was painfully aware of the mistake he had made.

Serah jumped from the bed and threw her pillow at the sleep deprived man.

"Excuse me?! What did you just say to me?!" Serah screamed.

"Uh… I… um, I said you weren't putting enough trust in your sister," Snow managed.

"Oh, no. That is not what you said. You said I was being 'irrational'! You want irrational? I'll give you irrational!"

"Okay, fine! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said it!" Snow begged.

"You're right about that!" Serah said, arms crossed and pouting.

"Serah, what's going on?" Snow asked.

"I just… I just want to see them. I want to know that they're okay. Is that so much to ask?!" Serah replied, lips quivering and eyes watering.

Snow wrestled himself out of the bed and stepped towards her as he wrapped his arms around her slender shoulders.

"I just feel so bad for what I said yesterday. I said it and he was right there. He was right there, Snow. He must hate me!" Serah continued and she tried to force back her tears with her hands.

"Serah, I'm sure he doesn't hate you, okay?" He said in an attempt to reassure her, "How about you throw something together in a baking pan and we take it over there? I'm sure he'll like that. You and Lightning can talk about this, too."

Snow kept her in his arms and stroked the back of her hair as she nodded silently.

* * *

Lightning took her parcel and silver plated collar in hand and made her way to the bedroom door. She raised her hand and gently knocked on the door.

"Hope? Are you up?"

"I am," Came his response.

"Can I come in?" She asked.

Lightning heard a shuffling and the pattering of feet on the floor. Standing at the other side of the door, Hope reached for the door handle and opened it. Standing in just his boxers and a low hanging t-shirt, Hope rubbed his tired eyes and yawned as his silvery bangs hung low over his eyes. Lightning stared at him in prurient silence.

"Mhm," He replied.

"Can we talk for a bit?" Lightning asked.

"Mhm," He said again.

Lightning placed the items in her hands on the desk beside the bed and took a seat at the foot of the bed by the door. Noticing how bare the bed felt underneath her, she looked towards the floor beside the bed to see a blanket and pillow resting a few feet away from her feet.

"Did you sleep on the floor?" She asked.

Hope nodded.

"Why?"

"I… didn't know if you were coming to bed," He said.

"Huh?"

"I've only ever been told to get in a woman's bed when… I didn't know if… I didn't know what to do…" Hope stammered as he covered his eyes with his forearm, "And you were so tired last night so I didn't shower until earlier this morning. I didn't want to wake you, and didn't want to dirty your bed."

"Oh," Lightning said, the realization of their sleeping arrangement finally coming to fruition in her mind, "I wasn't going to do anything like that, alright?"

Hope nodded again.

"Hope I need to talk to you about… um… this," Lightning said as she produced the identification tag from earlier.

"That's mine," Hope said with wide eyes, "Give it to me, please."

"Why do you need this?"

"So no one will take me away from here," Hope replied.

Lightning looked down at the tag. Fresh markings on the tag read: Hope E. - Bodhum - By _Farron_ Privilege Only

"Here," She said as she placed it in his hands, "You really do need this, don't you?"

Hope nodded.

"I'm sorry, Hope. I'll find a way. I promise."

Hope looked at her confused.

"I thought you were really free now, but it looks like I will still have to find a way," Lightning said.

"It's okay. This is more than enough. Thank you," Hope said, clutching his tag against his chest with a smile on his face, "Is that for me too?"

Lightning followed the direction of his pointed finger to the desk by the head of the bed where the leather collar rested. Hope walked over to the desk and picked the collar up in his hands. Gripping his tag in his fingers, he inserted the tag into the slot of the metal plate.

"It fits," He said, smiling.

"That was something the landlord gave me. It's not for people, Hope. It's a-"

"Collar, I know," Hope interrupted as he stared down at the item in his hands, "It's the nicest one I've ever seen too. Is this… silver?"

"That's what I was told," Lightning replied, "C'mon, let's go find a wristband or something for the tag. I don't know about a collar."

"It's okay," He said as he raised the collar to his neck, "It's nice. I like it."

"I'm serious, Hope. There are other ways to-"

"But I want to keep this one," Hope said, "It… it would be the first thing you've ever given me."

"Hope, I… I think...," Lightning stammered, unable to find the words to discourage the idea but preserve the semblance of joy it gave him, "I'll buy you a bracelet or necklace or something, okay?"

"Lightning, could you put it on for me?" He asked diffidently as he struggled with the clasps.

Hope pitter-pattered over to where she sat and turned his back to her with the collar raised to his neck.

Lightning warily raised her hands to his neck, fingers grazing against the soft skin under his hairline. The contact sent what felt like a hot surge of electricity through her fingers, to her hands, through her arms, and into her rapidly beating heart. Her fingers strayed to the clasp of the collar and slowly brought the two pieces of the clasp together making a soft click. Instead abandoning contact, her fingers traced the edges of the collar and gently pawed at his low-hanging silver hair. For the first time, Hope's own scent permeated into her nasal canals sending a searing rush of anticipation into her chest and abdomen.

Hope, mere inches away from her face, turned around to face her.

"How does it look?" He asked.

Lightning's arms suddenly thrust forward and wrapped themselves around the petite frame standing in front of her. She pulled him as close as humanly allowed and buried her her face into his neck.

Hope's hands struggled to find a grip on the woman in front of him as he pleaded her, "Lightning, please don't-"

Lightning pushed him away from her. As Hope fell onto the floor behind him, Lightning stood and ran out of the room. She slammed the door behind her before pressing herself against it. Back to the door, she pulled furiously at her hair as she fell to the floor with tears in her eyes.

Laying on the ground as he had so many times before, Hope resided himself to the thought behind his words only, as he knew now that it would be futile at best if he said it aloud:

_Please don't let me go._


	4. Newbie's Feelings

**Opheline - In all my stories, I have tried to show that the characters from the games, despite their abilities and feats of strength and courage, are really just human beings subject to the love and loss of life that everyone faces. When you live in a corrupt, war-torn, unforgiving world like that of final fantasy xiii, the elements of humanity so desperately clung to become amplified. All of this is fantasy, of course, but I still try to implement the humanity of a person into each character. I may not do as well as I would like, but I am forever blessed to know that you can see even a piece of that (though I think you probably understand these characters better than I do). I will try to keep up with the story with the pace of your questions as well.**

**Alienmatt9910 - Thank you for your compliment. Also, I will take you up on your offer. I don't know how to do that just yet, but hopefully we can keep in touch.**

**4**

**Newbie's Feelings**

"He can't wear that, Lightning," Serah said.

"I know, Serah," Lightning replied, "I know that already."

"Then why is he wearing it?" Serah asked.

"I didn't have anything else for the tag, and he wanted to wear it!"

"Why does he have to wear the tag?!" Serah screamed.

"You read the letter, didn't you?! What if someone tried to take him away? I have to keep that from happening!" Lightning exclaimed.

"There are ways to accomplish that other than wearing a collar and an animal tag!"

Serah went through with her promise to visit, even bringing over a freshly baked batch of cookies. As happy as Serah was to see Hope and Lightning, her happiness was short-lived at the sight of Hope wearing a dog collar. Despite Lightning's best efforts to calm her down and even having her read Jihl's letter, Serah was still fiercely unhappy. While the two sisters duked it out in Lightning's bedroom behind closed doors, Hope and Snow sat on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons. Hope was curled up in a blanket to ward the cold of the morning away. November was a cold month in Bodhum, and the waterside wind of the beaches moving from the water and onto land only made it worse. Standing out in the cold outside the precinct the day before did not help the boy either.

"It might snow later," Snow said as he glanced out the window.

Hope kept his attention on the television as the colorful Chocolina and her best friends went about their daily lives learning of the magic of friendship.

"You hungry?" Snow asked as he held out a cookie to Hope, "They're really good."

Hope peeled an arm out from the blanket and took the cookie from Snow's hands before taking a bite. A gentle smile crept to the sides of his face as he took another.

"See? What'd I tell ya?" Snow said as he bit into a cookie of his own, "Serah makes a good chocolate-chip cookie, but from what Serah told me it was actually big sis who taught her how to make 'em."

Hope turned toward Snow with skeptical eyes.

"I'm serious," Snow replied.

Hope turned back to the television and pulled the blanket over his face to hide his ear-to-ear smile. The idea that Lightning could make cookies made him happy enough to force a tear.

"Can we watch sports?" Hope asked.

"Oh thank god…" Snow replied enthusiastically, "I thought you were-"

"Nope," Hope said, "It was just what was on. I'm not really a kid."

"Oh, right. You're gonna be seventeen soon, huh."

Snow changed the channel to a pre-season blitzball game. Although the peak of popularity of the sport came and past many decades before either of them were born, it was still better than cartoons.

"You know, that's the first thing you've ever said to me," Snow said.

Hope gave no response. He kept his eyes on the television as he made progress on his cookie.

"How do you like it here? You doing okay?" Snow asked.

Hope nodded.

"She feeding you?"

Hope nodded again.

"Is she being nice to you?" Snow asked.

"Yeah," Hope said, turning towards Snow, "She's really good to me. She makes me happy, and she doesn't try to hurt me. She gets upset when I cry sometimes, but I like her a lot. I'm trying to work on it."

"So that's your trigger, huh? I mention sis and you get all chatty!" Snow said triumphantly, "You know, I'd almost say that you like her."

"I do like her," Hope replied, "She makes me happy."

"Uh… I meant that… actually, nevermind," Snow said, "It's just a bad joke."

"Can I have another cookie?" Hope asked.

"Sure," Snow said as he handed him another.

"Do Miss Lightning and Miss Serah fight a lot?" Hope asked.

"Um… sorry, what did you say?" Snow said, unsure of what he had heard.

"I mean… um… Lightning and Serah," Hope replied, "Do they fight a lot?"

"Not really. It's just been like this since you-" Snow stopped himself too late, "I mean… um…"

"Oh," Hope said as his cookie filled hands fell to his lap, appetite now gone.

"No, that's not what I meant! They don't fight because of you… sorta. It's because they care, and they don't want something to happen to you. It just takes time for them to see eye-to-eye, maybe," Snow pleaded.

"What are you two talking about?" Serah asked as she and her sister emerged from the bedroom.

"Nothing!" Snow said frantically, "We were just talking about stuff, guy stuff."

"Oh?" Serah said, "Why does he look so glum?"

Serah knelt down in front of Hope and placed a hand on his knee.

"Did Snow say anything he shouldn't have?" She asked him.

Before Hope could even look up at Serah, Snow interjected in a desperate attempt to save his skin.

"Hope said he likes sis," Snow said.

"Snow!" Serah exclaimed, "How is that at all appropriate?!"

"I did say that," Hope said.

Lightning stood silently by the bedroom door with her arms crossed, her cherry cheeks turned into her shoulder as she tried to avoid eye contact with anyone in the room.

"See!" Snow said, "And that's all we were talking about! Right, Hope?"

"Did you and Miss Lightning start fighting because of me?" Hope asked.

"Snow," Lightning said from the rough of her throat, "What did you say to him?"

"Miss Lightning?" Serah asked.

"Yeah, we're working on that," Lightning said.

"I have an idea!" Snow said as he stood from the couch, "Hope needs clothes and his own toiletries, right? Some books or games and stuff couldn't hurt either. Lightning, you should take him somewhere to get supplies and a meal in him."

"That's a good idea, actually," Serah said, her disposition very different than before.

"It really is," Lightning chimed, "I had no idea you had that in you."

"Yeah, well, you know," Snow said, forcing a laugh as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"We should get you something more discreet for your tag like a necklace while we are out too. Some extra pillows and towels would be good too. Toothpaste and brushes are a must, and some extra plates, cups, and knives and forks couldn't hurt," Lightning said as she paced around the apartment with watchful eyes. Finally, her eyes landed on Hope curled up inside the blanket, "Clothes are a must too. You could use some new shoes as well."

"You want to get a ride with me and Snow?" Serah asked her sister, "We were gonna go to the outdoor shopping center in Bodhum Square today anyway to look at wedding stuff."

"Yeah, that sounds good," Lightning replied, "Hang on a sec."

Lightning ducked into the bedroom and dug her hands into the parcel that had been delivered to her earlier. She had noticed it earlier, but now she had a use for it.

Lightning returned to others with a bundle of orange and yellow between her arms along with a long sleeved thermal.

"Here," She said as she presented bundle to Hope, "It's your coat. It's short sleeved, but you're pretty slim so you can wear this long-sleeved shirt of mine underneath it until we get you a new one. The pants that you wore home from the precinct are still in the bedroom."

Hope stood from the couch and started to undress. He had managed to peel his shirt away from his body halfway revealing his boxers and his slender waistline.

"Go into the bedroom first and do that," Lightning said as she turned away from him, her face bright red. The image of an undressing Hope with only boxers and a dog collar truly unsettled her in more ways than one. The fact that he had held no sense of modesty was even more confusing to her.

Hope took the clothes from her hands and did as he was told. Once he was behind the closed bedroom door, Lightning took her chance to breathe again.

* * *

"Here," Serah said as she placed some gil in her sister's hands, "Take this and get what you need."

The two sisters stood in the center of Bodhum Square as the sale signs and brightly lit stores flanked them on all four sides.

"This is too much," Lightning said as she stared down at her sister's hundred gil.

"Not for Hope it isn't," Serah replied.

"Serah, I… thank you," Lightning said.

As the two parted, each with their respective man or young man in tow, a light sprinkle of snowflakes fell from the sky and onto the ground below their feet.

Lightning led Hope into largest of the stores in the shopping center. B&W Outfitters was the only department store in the shopping center that offered such a wide selection of clothing.

"What do you like to wear?" Lightning asked as the two perused through the men's section.

"Oh, um… something warm," Hope said as he thumbed through a stack of jeans.

"I mean what kind of clothes do you prefer?"

"I… I don't know. What would you like me to wear, Miss Lightning?"

"No, you don't understand."

"I'm sorry. What would you like me to wear, Lightning?" Hope asked again.

"That's better, but it's not about what I want you to wear. You should wear what you want to wear."

Hope nodded resumed his search. After a few miutes, he presented Lightning some simple pants and shirts and a pair of high-top tennis shoes.

"Simple style, good choice," She said as she took the clothes from him, "Now go and find a coat to wear over on the rack behind you. I am going to try to find a scarf to cover that collar for right now."

As Hope stepped away, a woman approached Lightning very gradually.

"Excuse me," The woman said, "Is that your boy?"

Lightning turned to look at the source of the voice. The woman was wearing an expensive pantsuit and heels, and carried herself very distinctively. She kept one hand on her hip with the other free to push up against the bridge of her glasses when needed and to hold her pen.

"Oh, um… no, he's not my son. He's just-"

"No, no that's not what I meant," The woman replied coyly.

"Sorry, I don't quite follow you," Lightning said.

"He's… _yours_ , correct?" The woman asked as she pointed to her neck.

"Oh! That? It's not a… it is, but it's not like he's a… you know. He just has this… thing he has to wear and I'm still looking for a…" Lightning muttered incoherently.

The woman took Lightning by the arm and guided her closer to the wall so they were not as within the earshot of the other shoppers.

"You're a newbie, huh? Don't worry about it. It gets easier, and when it does, its becomes that much more fun," The woman said with a wink, "But he is _your_ boy, correct? He's quite beautiful. Ever since I saw him, something inside of me was drawn to him like spell . I need to know something."

"I think you should leave us alone," Lightning said through her teeth.

"Just tell me what it would cost me to-"

Lightning shoved the woman to the side and dropped the clothes in her hands. She placed her hand around her pistol and produced it from her waist, letting it hang at her side.

"I'm a Soldier. Unless you want me to arrest you, get the hell out of here," Lightning said.

"How?" The woman whispered as she staggered away from the angry Lightning, "A Soldier? Since when do Soldiers take sla-"

"Get lost," Lightning interrupted as she placed her thumb behind the hammer of her pistol.

The woman scampered away in a huff as she pulled at the hem of her blazer.

Lightning replaced her weapon at her hip and picked up the clothing she had dropped on the ground. Now realizing how long that ordeal had taken her, she scanned the floor of the store in an attempt to find Hope.

"Hope?" She called out as she made a second pass with her eyes when the first one could not locate him, "Hope? Hope?!"

Lightning's feet carried her to the rack of winter coats faster than she than her conscious mind could think to do.

"Hope! Where are you?!" She cried out desperately.

"I'm right here," Hope anxiously replied, standing behind here, "Are you okay, Miss Lightning?"

"Where were you?!" She asked fiercely as she turned to meet him.

"I found a coat that looked like my old one but with longer sleeves and a green scarf," He said as he cowered under her heated gaze, "And I wanted to look at it in the mirror…"

"You shouldn't have left me," She stated firmly.

"I'm very sorry," He replied as he took a step towards her, "It wasn't my intention to disobey-"

Lightning dropped the clothing once again and rushed him. Her arms wrapping themselves around his head and shoulders effectively silencing his apology.

"I was so worried about you," Lightning said as she breathed a sigh of relief, now believing he neither heard her prior conversation with the woman nor was hurt by her.

"I was gone for such a short time," Hope replied, "Did something happen?"

"It's okay now. Everything is fine," She said, breathing a sigh of much-needed relief as her arms fell to her sides, "Hope, do not ever leave me like that again. Understood?"

"As you wish, Miss Lightning," He replied as he picked up the disheveled clothing from the floor and tucked them under his arms. Hope looked up at her and smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" She asked, "I'm trying to be serious."

"Because you don't want me to leave you. Is it okay if… if I worry about you too?" He asked.

Lightning turned away from him and took him by the arm to lead him towards the registers. His words were changing her, and she didn't want him to see the face his words forced her to wear.

"Miss Lightning, are you okay? You look like you have a fever. Do you want to sit-"

"Let's just pay and go," She said.

Once at the register, she took the clothes from Hope's arms and set them on the counter.

"Oh uh… there's no charge today, miss," The nerve-racked attendant said to her.

"Sorry?" She asked.

"The manager will award you store credit for whatever the amount of your purchase is," He replied rigidly.

"Manager? Who's the manager?" Lightning asked.

"She's right-" The attendant began as he glanced around the store, "She was right here. It appears she's in her office at the moment and cannot be disturbed. However, I can still give you give you a receipt for your purchase reflecting your store credit so there's no trouble, miss."

"You do that," Lightning said as the attendant folded her clothing and placed it in a shopping bag. Once her receipt printed and she had her bag in hand, she took Hope by the hand and led him towards the doors.

* * *

"Lookin' good, kid!" Snow said as he grabbed Hope by the head and ruffled his hair.

"Snow, stop it already," Serah said, "Settle down and eat your food, both of you."

"C'mon! We're just having fun, right kid?"

Hope broke free of Snow's arm and nodded as he laughed.

The four of them sat at a table in an indoor section of the shopping center that housed a modest food court. Hope and Snow had chosen a burger and pizza, respectively, while Serah picked at a chicken salad. Lightning sipped a black coffee.

"No luck with a necklace, huh?" Serah asked her sister.

"Something came up before I had a chance," Lightning said as her fingers squeezed the sides of her coffee.

"Oh? Everything alright?" Serah asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," Lightning said.

"Well, he can wear that scarf for now, but I just feel weird about the collar underneath it," Serah said.

"Here," Lightning said as she held out Serah's hundred gil, "I used a store credit."

"You had a store credit?" Serah asked inquisitively, one eyebrow raised higher than the other.

"It would seem so," Lightning said simply.

"Keep it," Serah said, "You need it, and so does he."

"Thank you, Serah," Lightning said as she placed the money back into her coat pocket.

"He looks happy," Serah said before taking a bite of her salad.

"Snow is just a big kid. He always looks like that around you," Lightning replied.

Serah shook her head with a mouthful of salad and pointed her plastic fork towards the content face beneath the pile of white hair.

"Oh," Lightning muttered, "Yeah, he's doing better I think."

"That's a good thing isn't it?" Serah asked after swallowing her food, "Why do you look so glum?"

"I'll be fine, Serah. I just need to some rest. Today has been a trying day," Lightning replied.

"If you say so, sis," Serah assured as she placed a hand around that of her sister's, "You're doing really well with him. He really wants to be around you, you know? You should be happy."

"I… I want to be. I really do, Serah," Lightning said.

"What's stopping you?"

"I… I think I may be feeling... something..."

"Feeling what?" Serah asked as she took another bite of her salad.

"Nothing. I'm fine, really. I'm glad he's doing well," Lightning said.

"Mhm," Serah mumbled, her attention now undividedly committed to her salad.

 _Please don't screw this up,_ Lightning told herself as she watched the boy try to wrestle out of Snow's arms.

"Snow, eat your food," Serah said.

* * *

"Okay, we'll see you guys later! It's getting late," Serah said as she stood outside Lightning's open apartment door.

"Thanks for the ride home, Serah," Lightning said to her sister.

"Thank you, Miss Serah," Hope said.

"You can call me Serah, Hope," Serah replied with a gentle smile.

"Oh… okay… um… bye, Serah…" Hope managed as the blood in his face rushed to his cheeks.

Serah lunged at her arms open and bear hugged him as she nuzzled her nose into his hair.

"You're so precious! I could eat you up!" She squealed.

Hope pinched his eyes closed and laughed into the cold air as she continued to tickle the top of his head.

 _Why is it so easy for her?_ Lightning thought.

"Okay, that's enough," Lightning said, "We're letting the cold into the apartment."

"Okay okay," Serah replied as she stepped away from the boy, "We'll see you two later."

"Later, kid," Snow added as he and Serah walked away from the apartment door hand in hand.

Lightning closed the door, kicked her boots off her feet, and made her way to the couch where she fell headfirst into the cushions.

"Are you alright, Miss Lightning?" Hope asked as he struggled with the laces of his tennis shoes.

"Mhm," Lightning replied, her face still buried in the cushion, "It's been a long day. I'm just going to go to bed."

Hope wrestled his shoes off and pitter-pattered his way over to the couch.

"Do you want to sleep in your own bed tonight?" He asked.

"You go ahead," She replied as she turned herself towards him, "I'm fine right here. Just hit the light switch before you go."

"Oh… okay," Hope said as he reluctantly turned towards the bedroom, "Good night, Miss Light- I mean Lightning. Good night, Lightning."

"Wait," Lightning said as she forced herself to sit up, "Come here."

Hope stepped to her, feet grazing the edge the couch as they stood between the legs of her seated body.

"Um…" Lightning began as she gingerly held out her arms, "I'm… um… I'm going to touch you, okay?"

"Um… okay," Hope said as he kept his eyes to the ground and nodded.

Lightning stood slowly, Hope meeting her eyes as she stood over him, and slowly wrapped her arms around his head and his shoulders just as Serah had done earlier. She kept him there for several moments in silence.

"Is this… is this alright?" She asked.

Hope nodded in her arms.

"Miss Lightning… your heart is racing and you feel hot," He said into her shoulder.

Lightning dropped her arms to her sides and tried to step back as the back of her legs met the the edge of the couch. She looked down into his worried face, embarrassed.

Hope looked up at her, brought his hand up behind her head, and guided her forehead to meet in a gentle touch against his.

"You feel very warm, Miss Lightning," He began as he glanced around the room. "I'll pour you some juice and find you some Tylenol or Advil. Do you have a first aid kit or a medicine cabinet?"

"I'm not sick, Hope. It's okay," Lightning replied.

Hope brought his eyes back to hers and shyly wrung his hands together as he searched for the right words.

"Miss Lightning, is it okay if I worry about you? I don't want to bother you, but I… I want to be able to worry about you too," He said.

"Just go to bed right now, okay?" Lightning replied as she turned away from him.

Lightning kept her back to the young man as she hid her face behind her forearm and clenched her teeth in an effort to force back the tear that threatened to assault her cheek.

"I- I didn't mean to… as you wish," He said, "I'm sorry…"

Hope turned towards the bedroom door and silently walked away from her. His shoulders hung low as he became awash with a sense of defeat and guilt. Once behind the bedroom door, Lightning released her overdue breath and grabbed at her hair.

 _Why is this so much easier for everyone but me?! Why can't I do this?! What is wrong with me?!_ She chastised herself.

She flicked the light switch next to the television and sunk herself into the couch in defeat. She wrapped her arms her chest and curled up into the cushions as she tried to forget her failings from earlier. Sleep was a much-needed respite from the day's tribulations, and she more than welcomed it.

* * *

Hope peeked his head outside of the bedroom door into the darkness of the living room. It was early morning now, and it would be for many more hours. He couldn't see a thing through the dominating darkness that enveloped the room. As a car drove by their building, the headlights of the vehicle cast its light into the room for a few brief seconds. The light passed from one side of the room to the other as the shadow of the window pane journeyed across the room. Within those brief moments, Hope could see the image of a sleeping Lightning stirring restlessly even in her dreams.

Hope silently tip-toed to edge of the couch as he dragged a couple blankets behind him. He looked down at her and drew one of the blankets over her body, letting the seam of the cover rest just above her shoulders. He wrapped himself in his own blanket and curled himself next her body. He turned himself over, facing her, and nestled his head against her chest. Hope clutched the lapel of her coat in his hand as his tears fell silently from his cheeks onto the cushion beneath him. Lightning's unconscious body embraced his presence as one arm wrapped itself around Hope's waist.

 


	5. It's (not) okay...

**CrystalMaiden00 - I totally left you out on my first version of this chapter! I am so sorry! I did an edit to resinsert the message I wrote you when I frist began writing this chapter. It won't happen again, I swear it! I've never had anyone call my stories "addicting" before! I love the praise! I look forward to your continued support :)**

**Opheline - Your words have awakened the realization that this fandom is bigger than its sizeable relation to other fandoms. It means so much to me, ffxiii, and your words have helped me understand that as long as that desire and drive is still within me today and tomorrow, the fandom is still very much alive. I hope to share the joy of it for many more days to come. About the story, both Hope and Lighting have their pasts, their futures, and each other to contend with. How they will reconcile those things with each other will be up to them. This next segment, hopefully, is a step back for two steps forward for both of them. Your encouragement, as well as analytical insight of what you read, has been priceless to me. I know that you enjoy the sweetness and tenderness of the prior chapters, but this one is neither sweet nor tender. I just want you to know that. I am trying to establish the pinnacle of conflict so both of them can progress with their healing as well as come to realizations about one another. Please don't hate me for this one.**

* * *

**This chapter is not an easy read, and there is more to it than simply its words. Please use discretion.**

**5**

**It's (not) okay…**

"You're up early," Serah said, shuffling into the living as she rubbed her eyes.

Unlike Lightning's apartment, Serah and Snow had a dining table in the center of the living room as opposed to a couch and television. Their television was on a small television stand three or so feet from the edge of the dining table. On the opposite side of the dining table, a counter with a sink, a single stove top, and a counter with a coffee pot could be seen. Serah reached below the counter for a mug and poured herself some coffee.

"Yeah, I wanted to go over some case notes before I go back in tomorrow. I gotta stay sharp to keep up with sis. I got the coffee maker up and running for you. It should be about a quarter pot or so now," Snow said as he sat at the dining table and sipped orange juice as he looked through his notes.

"I got some. You didn't sleep well either, huh?" Serah asked as she took a seat across from him.

"No, I didn't. Sis seemed so… how did she seem? She was so…" He trailed as he stared up towards the ceiling.

"I know what you mean," Serah replied, "I could really feel it when we had dinner at the food court last night. It was like she was hiding something."

"You think it was about Hope?" Snow asked.

"It has to be. If it's about work, she will always tell you. If it's anything else, she'll tell me," Came her reply.

"What does she have to hide?" Snow wondered out loud, "It has to be what she is thinking or feeling. If anything, she will hold onto her own thoughts and feelings without a word of how she is on either of the two."

"I agree. If it's so important that she keeps it bottled in, I wish she would say something," Serah said as she sipped her coffee, "God damn, Snow. This coffee… Are you stealing those cheap cans of coffee grounds from work again?"

"The GC gets a good deal on em, and nobody drinks it. It'll go to waste otherwise," He replied.

"We can afford our own coffee, Snow. Good coffee. We're not _that_ poor," Serah said as she massaged her irritated throat.

"Sis thinks it's okay," Snow teased.

"That's cuz the coffee is as overtly bitter and unrefined as the sting of each punch she leaves when she hits the side of your face whenever you say something stupid," Serah said as a chuckle left her lips.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry about the coffee. I'll go out and get some good coffee," Snow said as he began to stand from his seat at the table.

"No no, it's okay. I'll drink this for now. It's still coffee after all. I still wanna talk about Hope and Lightning," Serah said as she took yet another sip of the derisory fluid.

"Okay," Snow replied as he sat back down, "I was just thinking last night that… well…"

"Oh? What were you thinking?"

"Well… I know it's pretty far-fetched. It sounds stupid but just hear me out."

"Okay. I'm listening," Serah replied.

"Well, people like Hope are usually stripped of their identity. Without a trace of citizenship or identification, they become that much more easy to control and be manipulated into their… social roles," Snow explained.

"Hence the tag," Serah replied.

"That's part of it," Snow said, "But what if he wasn't like that? What if there was a way to make him as real on paper as you and me? He'd have an identity, citizenship, and more importantly… well... "

"Well?" Serah urged, "What? Like, adopt him?"

"That's easier said than done at his age," Snow explained.

"Then what are you talking about?" Serah asked as her fingers traced the rim of her mug.

* * *

"Welcome home, Lightning," Hope said as she stepped through the front door.

"Thanks," Lightning replied with a smile, reciprocating the one he had saved for her arrival.

Hope stepped behind her as she dropped her gear and backpack onto the floor and helped her peel out of her coat.

"Oh, that feels good," She said as the weight slowly peeled away from her hips and shoulders, "It feels unreal."

"Does it feel like a dream still?" Hope asked.

Lightning shut the door behind her as she kicked off her shoes. The closing of the door echoed through the high ceiling of the house while a dimly kindled fire began to brew in the fireplace.

"Yeah," She replied, "You and me, the new house, all of it still feels like a dream. I still remember when you were still too young to drive. Plus, with the promotion, all I've done is desk work since the GC found about the kid."

"To be honest, it does to me too," Hope said as he pecked her cheek with his lips, "A good dream."

"Did you go to class today?" Lightning asked.

"Not today," Hope said as he hung her coat in the closet by the front door, "The junior college is still on break between semesters for one more week. After the New Year celebrations roll over we'll all head back class. Still gotta get through Christmas too, you know."

"Oh yeah. I forgot. Time is just one big blur at the precinct," Lightning said as she flopped onto the couch, "Christmas… don't remind me…"

"You're still hung up on that? It's just Snow and Serah coming over. The holidays aren't that terrible," Hope replied as he sat next to her.

"You haven't been around Snow during Christmas enough," Lightning said.

"I've managed three holiday seasons with Snow and Serah, I think I can handle this one," Hope replied.

"Hey, Hope, are you… are you happy here, with me?" She said as she stared at the ceiling.

"Of course," He replied as he turned towards her, "Do you regret… you know…? It was Snow's idea after all. Maybe I'm not the best person suited to-"

"No, that's not it. I want to be here with you," Lightning said, "I just thought perhaps you'd prefer someone… someone more suited for you. I hate to think you were pressured into being with me because of the situation and now regret it."

"Lightning, you must be dreaming," Hope replied as he laid his head against her shoulder, "I don't want to be anywhere else. Sure, it was an adjustment, to say the least, but I'm happy it was possible. Took a lot to convince that judge to let us do this, not to mention convincing him of my identity. Regardless, I know how I felt then, and I know how I feel now. That will never change."

"Mhm…" Lightning mumbled as a smile drew across her face while she stared into the growing fire, "If only my world could change the way my dreams do…"

"You okay?" Hope asked, "Are you hungry? Dinner should be ready by now. I just have it cooling on the stove top. I'll bring a plate to you."

"No, it's okay," Lightning replied, "I think it's time for me to go."

"Go where?" Hope asked.

"Go home," She said, "It's nice here, but entertaining this fantasy for too long can be unhealthy. I don't want to burden you more than I should with such illusory expectations."

"It is morning where you are, I suppose," Hope replied with a smile on his face, "I'll make sure this dream of yours is waiting for you another time."

"Thank you," Lightning said as she made her way to the front door.

Lightning opened the front door of the home to reveal a pure, empty white landscape surrounding the home on all sides. Hope traced her steps to the door and stood inside the threshold of the door as she stood just outside of it.

"Time to wake up, Lightning. It's okay, though. I'm over there waiting for you. I always will be," Hope said as he stood on the other side of the open door.

Lightning smiled and gently closed the door on the smiling face of the taller man.

"No… you won't be. But as long as you're happy, I… I…." Lightning began as she fell to her knees unable to continue her words as the tears and pain in her throat robbed her of her voice.

* * *

Lightning struggled to open her eyelids as the light of the Sunday morning sun permeated through her window and into her eyes faster than she could adjust. As her dream world was replaced with the dreaded cold of reality, she felt the urge to get up and move around.

She tried to sit up but felt a resistance against her arm. She was laying on her side with her right arm trapped underneath something heavier than just a couch cushion. She looked to her side and froze as the blood rushed away from her face and rushed back again.

"Hope, you can't be here," She whispered, "You need to get up. You're on my arm."

Hope's sleeping body paid her no mind, and in defiance, Hope's lifeless body pressed itself deeper into the couch as he curled up against her chest.

"Hope, please," She began to beg as her body became heated with frustration and guilt. With her free hand, she tugged at her skirt in between her slender legs and bit her lower lip. The demon inside of her she had fought so many times since his arrival had returned for another round, and this time, it was stronger than it had ever been.

Hope dug his face into her chest and wrapped his arm around her waist.

Lightning rolled herself on top of him in an effort to free her trapped arm. As she pulled her arm free, her eyes trailed onto his sleeping face. She stayed frozen there, one leg on each side of him as he slept beneath her. She stared into his face as a sliver of drool gleamed against the morning sun on the brow of his lower lip.

 _Oh, dear Etro, no. Please not now._ _I can't see him like this,_ She begged.

"Mmmm?..." He muttered as he stirred himself awake, his arms and legs stretching out from his body.

Seeing who was above him, he immediately fell still beneath her. He watched her crimson face intently as her short and shallow breathing degraded into near panting. He pushed his feet against the couch in an effort to squirm away only for her to lower her hips to rest her lower body against his own.

"You shouldn't be here…" Lightning whispered, "You should be in your own bed."

"I'm so sorry," He replied as a pained, worried expression settled into his boyish face, "I couldn't sleep."

"Go. Go now," She said through her teeth as she fought the urge to lean forward towards him. It was a losing battle.

"You're sitting on me, Miss Lightning," He pleaded as his hands strayed down to his groin, "I can't move. It hurts."

"Why must you say my name like that?" She asked in a daze, "Don't you know what that does to me when you say it?..."

Lightning put all her weight onto the boy beneath her and leaned towards his chest, her lips grazing the tip of his nose as her shallow breaths cast their heat onto his face.

"I'm sorry, please… I won't do it again," He replied, wincing as his hands grabbed furiously at his boxers in an attempt to hide his growing pain.

Hope's busy hands her beginning to annoy her. She reached one arm down, grabbed one of his wrists, and brought it up above his head.

"Stop doing that," She muttered as she cast her glassy, soulless gaze into his eyes.

Hope obeyed and brought his other hand up to rest on his chest, abandoning what he tried to keep hidden. Lightning could feel something moving beneath her as it pressed itself against the rear of her thigh.

"Hope, I… Hope, you have to go, please…" Lightning begged as she grazed her lips against his cheek, "Push me away, please. I can't fight this anymore…"

Hope brought his free hand up to the lapel of her coat, his fingers toying with the clasp as his other hand remained trapped beneath her own against the couch.

"It's okay," He murmured through quivering lips as his hand brushed past the lapel of her coat and trailed down the side of her chest just beneath her underarm, "I'll be okay if… if it's you, it's okay. You shouldn't have to go without. I don't want you to suffer anymore, Miss Lightning."

"It's not okay," She said as her hand squeezed his wrist, "It's not okay for me to do this to you."

"I'm excited too," He replied as he pointed with his free hand at the pressure in his boxers, "I know what it is is a normal reaction and that I shouldn't be afraid of it. You have saved me before, multiple times. It's… it's okay if you take from me what you need."

The beginnings of tears began to pool in the well of Hope's eyes as his hand gently slid under the hem of her shirt and grazed against her skin below her navel. His eyes traded places between her own and her body as he studied her movements and changing complexions. His attention to her was his next step. He tried to understand her and her desires. His hands and lips relaxed with her touch as he tried to match her needs, a method he had been forced to use before many times.

Lightning could feel his hand grazing itself against her bare body beneath her shirt. She pushed herself down against his lap and arched her back in desperation as she pressed her palm down on his boxers to feel his pulsating against her hand with each of his tender heartbeats.

Hope lifted his head up from the couch and chased her arching body with his lips. He nestled his face in between her breasts as his hand trailed further up her shirt, finally resting itself upon her rapidly beating heart.

"Oh… Fuck…" Lightning squealed faster than her breath could carry, "I… I can't… I can't be… please…"

"I'm with you, here, right now, Miss Lightning," He whispered unconsciously, his mind now receded into the protected depths of his wounded psyche, "I will do as you wi-"

"Push me away! Push hard! PLEASE!" Lighting screamed as she tried to push her lips forward to meet his. She clenched a handful of his t-shirt in her fist as her tears fell onto his chest, "You don't really want this! It's okay to believe that! You MUST believe that!"

This was a first for the boy. Her reaction was unprecedented to him at the very least. Although her body responded in kind to his own, her mind and her words desperately rejected him. They called to him and begged him to listen. Finally, they reached him. For the first time since his initially painful, traumatic night alone with his first 'patron', Hope's mind, despite Nabaat's zealous 'training' and if even for only a moment, was his own again.

"I didn't want it to be like this! I don't love _this_ Lightning! I wanted to change! I wanted to love you! Why?! WHY?!" He screamed into the cold morning air as he ripped his wrist free of her clutches and pushed her with his hands with all of his might.

Lightning crashed hard onto the floor as Hope pushed her up into the air above her and threw her down onto the ground below. She clutched at her sides and coughed painfully as she tried to regain the wind that was forced from her lungs on impact. Her head was barraged by piercing pains that shot deep behind her eyes. She rolled on the floor in search of a respite from her pain as she clutched the sides of her ribs with one hand and the side of her head with the other.

Once Hope had freed himself of her and even before she had hit the ground, he was gone. The front door was left open. The cold morning breeze carried snowflakes into the apartment as the boy's coat, pants, and shoes remained inside.

Lightning powered through her pain and stood. She turned away from the door and grabbed the sides of her arms, shivering. Before she could render any understanding of what had happened, she saw herself in the reflection of the blank, silent television. Her greedy, menacing eyes were puffy and red as tears trickled from their sides. Her shirt was halfway on and halfway off, exposing the skin from her navel to her lower breasts while her skirt draped around her ankles. The inside of her legs were streaked with red marks and sapped like a maple tree in the spring, and all that guarded the delicate savagery of her loins was a pair of short, messy spats and whatever soiled undergarment that remained trapped underneath.

Lightning turned to the couch and then to the door in search of the lost boy. She felt excruciatingly torn by his lack of presence but felt no need to question it. She knew why. He was betrayed by her. He was hurt by her intemperate nature. He was damaged once again. He was nowhere to be seen, his clothing and forgotten smile being all that remained. He was gone.

Lightning contemplated two choices. She glanced at the door and then at her service weapon that lay on the coffee table at the foot of the couch. She put one hand up to her head, her finger resting firmly against her temple. With the other, she reached out in front of her as the morning air pierced icy daggers into her sweat-covered forearm. She grasped the weapon in her hand, wincing as the cold of the steel sent even more shivers up her arm.

 _Cold,_ She thought, _Everything is so cold..._


	6. See Him Again

**6**

**See Him Again**

"Wow…" Lightning heard from behind her, "That could have gone better."

Lightning snapped her face to the direction of the voice behind her only to find no one there.

"He really takes you back, doesn't he?" The voice came again.

"Who's there?!" Lightning demanded as she raised her pistol, the striking of the slide now level with her eyes.

"Don't play stupid, Claire. We both know that will get you nowhere."

Suddenly, Lightning could feel a pair of cold hands wrapping themselves around her face. She lunged forwards and turned to face her intruder.

"Hello again," The woman said as her black, evil eyes bore a burning hole through Lightning's chest.

The woman who stood before her had pink hair parted on the same side as the soldier's. She wore a familiar GC issue coat and stood, hand on hip, in the same manner as Lightning often did.

"You're…" Lightning began, "It's you again… How?!..."

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" The woman asked as she laughed from the base of her throat, "You try and you try and you try, but you never quite-"

"I got rid of you! I killed you!" Lightning pleaded, "Why are you still here?!"

"BECAUSE I AM YOU!" The woman screamed, nearly rupturing Lightning's eardrums, "And you are me! We are each other, and we always will be!"'

"No no no no! NO! This can't be!" Lightning screamed as she flailed her weapon in front of her.

"You look tense," The woman said as a maniacal laughter echoed from her lips, "Need to let out a little steam?"

Lightning pulled back the hammer of her pistol and brought her guiding hand up to the base of the weapon.

*Tsk tsk tsk* "I wouldn't do that, _Miss Lightning_ ," The woman said as she wagged her finger, "Remember what happened last time? Remember what that 'doctor' did to you?"

"They said I was crazy. I'm not crazy. You're real," Lightning said definitively.

"Of course I'm real! No amount of medication and aggressive psychotherapies will rid you of me! You know that!" The woman replied, "For I am _Lightning Farron_ , the aegis of the damned!"

"You are not me! You never will be!" Lightning screamed.

"Hmm… Perhaps not a protector. How about…"

Lightning pushed the barrel of her weapon to "Lightning's" forehead.

"How about I kill you again, instead? Hmm? Then you can finish your sentence," Lightning replied.

"Oh? Like you 'killed' me before? I am you! Or, at least I am the part of you that you are too afraid to face," Dark Lightning said.

"I don't care what you are. You are just a voice. I am stronger than the voices in my head. I am stronger than you."

"Oh please! Spare me your therapy induced delusions! I am not simply a 'voice'! I may come, and I may go, but I will always be right in here…" The dark woman said as she pressed her finger into Lightning's forehead.

"You… You did this…" Lightning said, "You drove him away. You made me hurt him!"

"IF YOU BELIEVE THOSE WORDS THEN YOU CAN DIE IN A FUCKING HOLE!" The dark woman screamed in reply.

Lightning scampered back away from her darker self and pressed herself against the wall behind her. The dark woman chased her to the wall and trapped her against it.

" _Miss Lighting,_ I am where I am, but I am _not_ down there," The dark woman said calmly as she pointed her finger in between Lightning's thighs, "What happened on that couch, that was all you…"

"I would never hurt him!" Lightning begged to herself as tears rained from the sides of her face.

"But you did. You really did. Think back to all those years ago before the Corps, before Amodar and Snow. Think about what it was like to _serve_ others. Think about what they did to you, what those men did to you…" The dark woman said as she gripped the sides of Lightning's face in her cold hands, "Now think about that boy… Oh yes, that beautiful, tantalizing, delicious young boy! You could feel him in your hands, couldn't you? So young, and with such vigor and size! Good for him!"

"Shut the fuck up you evil bitch!" Lightning screamed, "Get the fuck out of my head!"

The dark one stepped away from her and began pacing contentedly around the room while a continuous chuckle echoed from her chest.

"You think what those men did to you all those years ago was the result of some psychotic episode or some voice in their head or possession by some evil personality? How foolish can you be?" The dark one muttered, "What can't justify them can't justify you. You are a greater coward than he ever will be, and his absence only proves that."

"It's different! I wasn't… I didn't…" Lighting began as her arms fell to her sides in defeat, her weapon now on the ground having slipped away from her fingers.

The dark one stepped over to where Lightning had pinned herself against the wall. Lightning fell to her knees and clutched the sides of her face as the realization of who she really was, or perhaps who stood before her, finally came to her.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," The dark one whispered into her ear, "You are just like those men, and he is just like you. The cycle forever continues…"

"Why? How could I have allowed myself… how could I let that-"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh," The dark one said as she caressed Lightning's cheek, "You loved him, didn't you? And you returned his kindness with the only kind intimacy you knew. I envy you, Miss Lightning. I truly do. Despite its fleeting nature, love is as satisfying as a fresh snowfall, but it can be as tearing as a passing father and a forgotten mother. You knew such pain before, and you know it again today. Love hurts, doesn't it? You know these things and yet you still-"

"I loved him," Lightning begged herself as her tears escaped her eyes.

"Even at his age?" The dark woman asked, "Please, what makes you think that-"

"The house and the fireplace!" Lighting interrupted as her shoulders heaved with each sob, "And we were going to be together. We would have found a way. He would be there when I came home, and he would hold me when the weight I carried was too much for me to bear. We were going to be free! We were supposed to be happy! I don't care about his age! I would have waited for him! I needed him! I need him now! Please bring him back to me! I'll do anything!"

"Oh, dear child, no. That's impossible," Dark Lightning said, "His body is now as cold as the ground he lies on."

"No… please no…" Lightning whimpered, "Please, I'll do anything…"

The woman placed Lightning's weapon in the soldier's lifeless hand and raised it to her temple. She pushed the barrel of the weapon into Lightning's temple and held it there.

"You can still see him. You want to see him, yes? You need to see him one last time. You can do this," The dark one whispered as she slowly withdrew her cold hand away from Lightning's wrist.

Lightning held the weapon to her temple as her tears pooled on the ground below her.

"I can do this?" Lightning asked, her weapon shaking within her trembling hand, "I can still see him again?"

"Of course," The woman said with an evil smile, "I know you can."

* * *

Hope's body was beginning to fail him as the cold dug further into his flesh. His shivering, bare legs and purple cheeks fell into the light layer of snow beneath his feet as he collapsed onto the ground. He had run as far and long as he could before the desperation and fatigue overtook him. He painfully put his feet below him, stood, and ducked into a nearby alley behind a dilapidated fast food restaurant.

"Hey, check that out!," A voice called out from the other side of the alley.

His back against the alley wall, Hope sat with his legs tucked to his chest and turned his head in the direction of the voice.

"Holy shit, is that what I think it is?" Another voice replied to the other, this one noticeably feminine.

Two teenage girls accompanied by a teenage guy approached Hope's nearly dead body. They were older and wore expensive, tailor-made uniforms loosely on their bodies. Their clothes, hair, and demeanor were unkempt and untoward as they carried a fierce aura of entitlement and excess.

"Yo, kid. What's with your shit, man?" The older boy said as his arm wrapped around the girl beside him.

"Yeah," The girl added as she snapped the gum in her mouth quite loudly, "You poor or something? Huh?"

The other girl laughed at Hope as the apathetic couple traded turns casting their insults.

"Leave me alone," Hope said as sat on the ground, "I'm not here to bother you so just leave me alone."

"What's that on your neck?" The older boy asked, "Oh… Holy shit! You're one of _them_!"

"One of what?" One of the girls asked.

"Look at his neck! The collar and the tag," The boy said as he reached for Hope's neck, "See it says, 'Farron privilege'. He's a slave!"

"Oh. My. God! You're totally right!" The girl squealed, "So what's with you Mr. Slave? Where are your clothes and shit? Did you run away? Huh? Or did you master force you out? I bet you did something. Did you disobey her? We're you bad?!"

"I bet you're a comfort slave, huh?" The older boy baited as he kicked Hope in the side, "C'mon. Do stuff, man! Hey! Why don't you kiss this girl?"

The girl beside him peeled herself away from the arms of the boy next to her and squatted down to Hope's eye level.

"I'm not doing that," Hope replied, "Get away from me. You're not pretty like her."

"What was that?!" The girl said as she dug her hands into the sides of his face and pressed his head into the wall behind him, "You calling me ugly or some shit? Do you want me to hurt you?!"

"Hey! Hey! Make him wear you like a hat! Make him hold his breath!" The other girl urged.

"No! He's gross! He's probably homeless! I don't want any of that up in my mess," Her friend replied with a laugh.

The boy stepped to Hope and kicked him in his sides. Hope clutched at his sides and keeled over as his breath left to make room for pain.

"You piece of shit can't even make a woman happy. No wonder your master left you to die like this," The boy said.

The girl beside Hope released her hands from his face and stood. She shoved her body into Hope's face and clutched at his hair.

"I changed my mind," She said, "He's too good to let go…"

"Oh, holy shit! You're gonna do this?!" Her friend said in anticipation.

"Touch his hair. Touch his face! It's electric!" The girl said as she shoved his face in between her hips.

"Let me go!" Hope screamed as he brought his fist behind his head and struck the girl in her stomach.

His energy wasted, his efforts did very little against her.

"He's got fight in him!" The boy said excitedly, "C'mon kid, give her another!"

"Oh don't be like that," The girl said as a laugh escaped her lungs, "C'mon… It's not like you have any other way to keep warm… Just do what you're good at…"

Hope struggled underneath her as his armed flailed from side to side. His bare legs shuffled against the ground as they kicked up fresh snow into the cold air.

"Hold him down!" The girl ordered her friends as she repeatedly hit Hope in the side of the face.

Once restrained, her repeated beatings wore Hope down. As the fatigue and disorientation set in, he became less and less capable of fighting back.

"Stay still," The girl said, "And try to enjoy this…"

Suddenly, the girl above him was thrust to the side. Something bigger than her had charged her and hit her with enough force to send her flying down the alley. Her two friends stood beside each other, stunned in fear. Hope put his feet under him and struggled to stand as he turned his head towards the commotion that had disrupted his torture.

"Get off me!" The girl screamed, "I'll kill you, you stupid bitch!"

"Are you gonna cool it?!" Her subduer asked, "Or do I gotta make you?"

The other girl and the boy paced away from the two on the ground. Once a few more meters away Hope, they turned away from the alley and ran as fast as they could.

"Not much a friend either of them are," The mysterious person said and she gripped the girl's arm and forced her to stand on her feet.

Once she and the girl stood, her face became visible against the faint glow of the streetlight just beyond the alley. She was slender like Lighting, strong like Lightning, but had dark, wavy hair and an unidentifiable accent. Her skin was darker, and so was her tone.

"Okay, missy. Put your hands against the wall there and keep still, yeah?!" The woman ordered.

"Fuck you, bitch. I'm gonna fuck you-"

The woman produced a pistol from her hip and squared the barrel of her weapon against the forehead of the belligerent girl.

"I ain't one to repeat myself," The woman said calmly, "So don't make me."

The girl did as she was told.

"You a cop?" The girl demanded, "This ain't your business. You gonna hassle me for having fun just because a stupid pig like you can't get any herself? He ain't even a real citizen or-"

"Why don't you keep your words inside that mouth of yours before I cave it in with my boot, okay girlie?" The woman insisted as she placed pressed a pair of cuffs on the girl's right wrist and brought it behind her back, "Give me your other wrist before I do somethin' we both are gonna regret. You more than me."

"You think you're some hot shit, lady? What are you? Guardian Corps? My family owns your ass? Do you know who I am or what I'm worth? Do you know what school I go to? When I'm done with you, you'll be picking lawyers' shoes out of your ass for the next ten years!"

The woman took the girl by the waist, wrapping her arms around her, and with the pivot of her feet, she picked the girl up off the ground and slammed her head and shoulders first onto the pavement below.

"I ain't no fucking Guardian Corps you misguided fool, and I ain't afraid of you neither," She said as she stood over her, "Now give me your other fucking wrist!"

"Drop the weapon!" A voice called from the end of the alley.

The woman instinctively snapped her weapon to the darkness of the alley and dropped to her knee in a ready stance.

"Identify!" The woman demanded as her eyes searched futilely in the darkness.

"Drop it! Step away from the boy!" The voice declared again as the figure stepped into the light.

The figure dressed in a familiar guardian corps issue coat with clothing draped around her neck appeared behind the mysterious woman, weapon pressed against the forehead.

"Lightning?" Hope asked in a whimper as he clutched his body.

"Drop the weapon and step away from the girl and the boy or I will end you," Lightning said as she dropped the clothing at Hope's feet, "Hope, put those on."

"You don't wanna do that, missy," The woman said as she reached for her pocket, "I'm just gonna get my ID, okay?"

"Drop the weapon first. Do it slowly," Lightning said.

The woman placed her weapon on the ground and produced an identification from her pocket. She raised it in the air above her head before Lightning snatched it away from her. She stole a glance at it before speaking.

"Inspector Fang, is it?" Lightning demanded, "What's Sanctum SS doing out here on my turf?"

"I'm looking for someone," Fang replied, "A girl. She's missing. I need to find her."

"Why? Did she slip out of her chains before anyone had a chance to take advantage of her? Not a good way to start, Inspector Fang. You better give me something better than-"

"She's mine! Alright?! She's my property! I paid for her! It was the only way I could keep her safe and now she's missing! She was taken from me!" Fang screamed in desperation, "Please! Every second that goes by is a second wasted, a second I could be using to finding her! You don't understand! You will never understand!"

Fang produced a wallet-sized picture of herself and the missing girl and held it above her head.

"See! This is her! You have to believe me!" Fang pleaded.

"Shut the fuck up!" Lightning exclaimed as she took a step back from the woman. Lightning began to frantically pace back and forth as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Lightning produced her own pair of cuffs from her hip and approached Fang once more before snatching the picture from her outstretched hands.

"Chain yourself to the piping behind you and keep quiet. I'll deal with you later," Lightning ordered.

"What about the girl here? I think I knocked her out or-"

"She'll live. Or not. I'm not here to care about her. Not after what she did to him," Lightning replied.

"Your call," Fang said indifferently as she chained herself to the building piping behind her.

Lightning picked up the clothes by Hope's feet and knelt towards him.

"Hope, please put these on," She begged as she held the clothes out to him.

"It hurts," Hope said, "It really hurts. My fingers won't move."

Lightning shoved his arms through the sleeves of the coat and wrestled his pants up onto his hips before placing his bare feet inside his shoes.

"Hope, I need to get you to a hospital," Lighting said as she put his hands in between hers and began rubbing her hands together, "I called an ambulance once I saw you. It's on its way."

"I… I did this, didn't I?" Hope said.

"What?" Lightning replied, "You didn't do anything Hope. I did this. I betrayed you. I tried to take advantage of you. I tried to hurt you. All this time, despite my own beliefs, I still saw you as an object. I saw you as a child. You're not an object or a child, Hope. You've suffered more than most adult people have or will ever suffer in their entire lives. I treated you terribly and I tried to justify it with selfish and irrational reasons. I'm a terrible person and a terrible provider. Once this is over, I will find you a place where you will never have to be afraid or be hurt by someone like me ever again. Please, just stay with me."

"I… Lightning I…" Hope whispered as the cold robbed his voice.

"Hope! Stay here, with me! Please!" Lightning begged, "Hope, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything! I need you! Even if you can't be with me because of who I am, as long as you safe and happy. That's all I want. That's all I need."

"I love you, Miss Lightning. I have since I met you. I was so timid and afraid all the time, and I cried all the time. I know you hated me for it. I couldn't be strong like you. I tried to be there with you. I tried to worry about you. I'm just a kid. I'm a stupid kid who can't do anything right. I should have just let you… I should have just…"

"Don't say those things!" Lightning cried as she clutched Hope's body against hers, "You're not a stupid kid, Hope. You're an amazingly strong person. Even after all you've been through and everything I did to you. You can still love and you still want to be loved. I'm so sorry for everything. You were the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire fucked up life, and I took that and crushed it under my heel. Please don't say those things. It hurts me so much to hear you say them."

"Lightning… I… I don't want to go…" Hope managed to say as he hung lifelessly in Lightning's arms, "I don't want to die anymore… I want to live. I want to live with you. Please don't let me go away…"

Lightning clung to Hope with her face buried in his chest as tears soaked through his shirt. The faint, familiar sounds of sirens echoed among the buildings as their rotating, red lights pulsed red and white light against the metal signs and black windows of the structures around her.

"You feel like ice, Hope," Lightning whimpered through her tears, "Please, stay with me. I can't lose you..."


	7. I Want a Name

**CrystalMaiden_OO - I'm gonna keep updating as much as I can. I am so happy you are enjoying this story.**

**7**

**I Want a Name**

The past half an hour had been a painful blur. When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics rushed Hope into the ambulance before she could even put herself on her feet. Lightning begged the paramedics to let her and a restrained Fang accompany them to the hospital. The paramedics were displeased with the idea, but Lighting's disposition changed to a more threatening one when they tried to give her any resistance. The quick seven-minute ride to the hospital was filled with Lightning cowering over Hope, still in desperation, with Fang resided to bouts of swearing in the corner as she wrestled with her chains. Just before arrival, Lightning made a desperate phone call to her sister before rushing inside.

Once inside the doors of the hospital, Lightning chained Fang to a chair in the waiting room and followed Hope to the emergency room's admin doors. Emergency room personnel stopped her just as he was being checked him and tried to assure her she could by his side when he was ready. Lightning's frustration and anger were only compounded by the fact that Hope was kept out of her sight as well.

After a few grueling minutes of waiting, a physician's assistant approached Lightning as she paced throughout the waiting area. The young clinician in a white coat told the soldier about their protocol for hypothermia patients and that they wanted to begin treatment.

"And you are…?" The young woman asked the soldier.

"Lightning. I'm Hope's… I… I take care of him," She tried to explain.

"Lightning, we want to get your permission before beginning treatment. Your son appears to be close to underage and we didn't find any identification on him except this," The physician assistant explained as she presented Lightning with Hope's collar.

"He's not my son," Lightning said, "I… please just help him. I can't let anything happen to him. Please…"

"Okay. We will do everything we can. The doctor is with him now keeping him stable. Fortunately, he was brought to us rather quickly," She said.

"Will he be okay? Please tell me!" Lightning begged.

"I can't say anything definitively, but usually treatment for someone in early stages like him means he will respond well to the treatment. We will keep you updated as his condition changes," She replied.

Lightning fell into the seat behind her and collapsed into the chair in relief. After the initial wave of relief passed, Lightning brought her hands to her face and cried softly as her tears seeped between her fingers.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to do this but… I need to ask you a couple more questions," The clinician said.

"Of course," Lightning said as she looked up from her hands, "Anything for him. Anything you need from me I am more than willing."

"Can we speak in private?" She asked.

Lightning nodded and stood. The soldier followed the young woman through a 'personnel only' door and made her way just outside Hope's room.

"Is that him?!" Lightning asked, "Is he okay?"

"Ma'am, he's resting. After some time we will gauge his response to treatment and then we will be able to determine an answer for you. But for right now, I need to ask you something," She replied.

"Yes. Yes, of course," Lightning said.

"Is Hope E- umm… Sorry, could you give me his last name? This 'tag' just displays an E."

"It's… it's um… I don't know," Lighting said.

"I see. Well about Hope, is he… well… how long has he been in your care?"

"A week perhaps, give or take a day," Lightning replied.

"Okay. Is he… being abused? I know it's not an easy question to hear, but I do need an answer."

"I… He's not my son if that tells you anything," Lightning said in an attempt to evade her question.

"I've seen these tags before," The young woman said, "I know the kind of company that follows them. I was hoping that he was one of the luckier ones."

"Sorry. I don't understand," Lightning said.

"I don't condone the practice by any means, but I know a 'master' and her… vassal when I see one. I just don't quite understand how a Soldier of all people would-"

"I tried to buy his freedom," Lightning said, "But it's… not as easy as that. He's… he's my Hope. If being my slave or property or whatever is the best I can do for him to protect him, then that is what he is."

"I understand. It's not a perfect world out there. I don't know everything about him, you, or who he belonged to before, but I do know this. There are bad masters who hurt their people, and good ones who bring them to the hospital. I'm not here to question your relationship. I just want to know if you can be trusted with him."

"I'm… trying. I'm really trying," Lightning muttered.

"Lightning, was Hope abused before?"

"I… I think so. I'm not definite on that answer, but I truly believe so," Lightning said as her throat became tight.

"A cursory examination revealed bruising on his-"

"When I found him, he was being harassed by some older teenagers in an ally. He was-"

"No… I mean… bruising near his genitals and lower neck. They are not fresh bruises either. They were, at their peak, quite deep and are finally in early stages of regression. I wanted to… oh… Lightning, are you alright?"

Lightning's face had broken down to a single, excruciatingly painful expression to match the pain that tore away at her heart. She pressed her palms against her eyes as she tried to force back the streams of tears that swept against her hands now that the floodgates once controlled by the cold-hearted indifference she hid behind had finally broken.

"Please… just help him... " Lightning begged through a labored breath.

"We will. Please try to do your best and answer my questions. We need to know everything possible to best help him."

"What does this mean?" Lighting asked.

"Sorry? I don't understand," The young woman replied.

"What does it mean for Hope? The abuse, the bruising, all of it. What does it mean for him long-term? What kind of life can he hope to have?"

"Ma'am, I'm only Hope's Physician Assistant. My practice of medicine is limited to my attending's supervision and psychiatry isn't really my specialty…"

"Please. Any information is important," Lightning begged.

"I…" The woman began, "Look, for Hope, it's not impossible, but it will be difficult. His ability to form bonds and trust the people around him will be very dependent on how those individuals choose to treat him. As far as peer groups go, assimilating with those of his own age may prove to be difficult as well. His capacity for romance, sexual relationships and attraction will probably be very well influenced by his past. If my guess is correct regarding the type of abuse he has suffered, any positives in a romantic or sexual regard may be difficult to experience and quite fleeting provided it doesn't trigger a mental relapse or state of panic. If he finds anyone at all he can trust and try to build a positive relationship around, I don't know that… Look, I may have already said too much. If you want, I can get you some information about some resources here in Bodhum that can help him… that can help both of you."

"Please do," Lightning replied.

"Are you the boy's mother?" A much older man said as he approached the two.

"No, I'm-"

"She is his guardian," The younger woman said, "She has been for about a week. She is doing everything she can to take care of him and learn about who he was before she started taking care of him."

"I see," The older man replied before outstretching his hand to the soldier, "I'm Dr. Katzroy, the attending physician for the physician's assistant, Mrs. Loehn, who has been helping you today. I understand she had some questions for you."

"We were able to go through them already," Mrs. Loehn replied, "She has requested resources to best help the young man."

"Understood," Dr. Katzroy said as a sense of relief crept onto his face now that he understood the nature of the woman before him, "He is doing fine. I will leave his care in the capable hands of Mrs. Loehn. If you have any questions or concerns, Mrs. Loehn can help you. She will take care of any changes in treatment, medication, and discharge when the time comes."

"Understood, Dr, Katzroy," Mrs. Loehn said.

"Thank you. Thank you for helping him," Lightning said.

"I have a son myself," Dr. Katzroy began, "I can only pray you were as afraid for him as I would be for my son given Hope's situation. Knowing what I know now, I can choose to believe that."

"Thank you again."

Dr. Katzroy nodded and turned away from the two before disappearing around the corner.

"He's of an older generation," Mrs. Loehn began, "He's a good man, but he doesn't see past the master-servant relationship. In this day and age, even such a relationship can be the best of a bad thing. People like Hope and yourself are a new kind of people."

"Can I see him?" Lightning asked as she stared into the hospital room through the window.

"Of course," Mrs. Loehn said.

* * *

"You don't understand," Serah explained to the receptionist, "He's about five feet or so tall, white hair, his name is Hope!"

"I understand that miss, but I will need a last name in order to direct you to the right location," The distressed girl said.

"Serah, c'mon. We'll find him ourselves," Snow said, "The hospital is only so big."

Serah complied and followed Snow away from the desk.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be of any more help," The young woman said.

"I understand," Serah replied.

"What's going on over there?" Snow asked as he pointed to a dark-haired woman handcuffed to a chair and surrounded by two hospital security staff.

"Do we know her? She looks like she's pointing to you, Snow," Serah replied.

The two security guards approached Snow at the beckon of Fang's finger.

"Do you know this woman?" One of the guards asked.

"Let's find out," Snow replied.

Snow directed his attention to the restrained woman before speaking.

"Where is he?" Snow asked.

"A doctor and some nurses admitted him earlier. Then some other doctor came out and took that crazy bitch back to wherever they took the boy," Fang said.

"You better watch it!" Serah exclaimed.

"Serah, please…" Snow said, "Go find your sister, okay?"

"What about you?" Serah asked.

"I'll meet you there. Go ahead. It's okay," Snow said before turning back to the security guard.

"Do you know where the boy and my partner went?" Snow asked as he produced his badge.

"I do," The man replied.

"Could you take her to them?" Snow asked.

"I can."

"Please do," Snow replied.

Serah reluctantly peeled away from the group and followed the security guard into the hallway of admin rooms as the other guard stayed behind with Snow and Fang.

"Who are you?" Snow asked.

"Piss off, asshole," Fang replied.

"These were left behind by your partner earlier when we got here," The security guard said as he produced a PSICOM badge from his pocket and a pistol from his cargo pocket, "We are trying to verify it now. The weapon is hers too, supposedly. Since you're here, you should take it."

"Verify this," Fang said as she shoved her middle finger into the air, "If Vanille dies out there while I'm stuck in this shitbox because of you people, I will hunt each of you down and skin you ali-"

"Who is Vanille?" Snow asked.

"My fairy godmother, fuckbag," Fang said.

"Do you kiss your fairy godmother with that mouth?" Snow said.

"Fuck. You. And. Your. Shit," Fang said, stomping her foot with each word.

"Is she another one of your PSICOM slaves that you pimp out to your rich friends for political favors and business deals?" Snow asked.

"YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! You don't know a thing about me or her! I love her! I tried to save her!" Fang screamed.

Her screams were followed by a deafening silence throughout the waiting area. All eyes were on her as she clawed furiously at her cuffs.

Snow produced a cuff key from his belt and tossed it to Fang.

"Wha- I mean… Just like that?" Fang asked.

"Who are you?" Snow asked again.

"Uh…. I'm Fang," She replied and sheepishly stood from the chair while wringing her now free hands.

"PSICOM?" Snow asked.

"For now," Fang replied.

"Who is Vanille?" Snow asked.

"She's my… I bought her. I tried to take her away from some bad people. I thought I could help her find freedom, but they were only playing with us."

"Who did you buy her from?" Snow demanded.

"A PSICOM elite. Who do you think?" Fang said annoyedly.

"A name," Snow replied, "I want a name."

* * *

"Hope?" Lightning asked as she gingerly entered his room.

"Hello, Miss Lightning," Hope muttered as he tried to force himself to sit up.

"Hope, it's okay. Just lay down and rest," Lightning ordered.

Hope let himself fall back and sink further into the bed. Lighting clutched at her chest at the sight of him.

"I'll leave you two be. Let me know if you need me," Mrs. Loehn said.

"Thank you," Lightning replied.

Once Mrs. Loehn was behind the door, Lightning took a careful step towards the edge of the bed.

"Hi, Miss Lightning," Hope said as he smiled.

"Hey, Hope," Lightning let escape from her lips, "Hope… Hope, I am so sorry for how I treated you. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me."

"Please don't apologize. It's my fault for not accepting you when we were together. It's my fault that I ran away and got hurt. It's my fault I'm here like this, and it's my fault that you are troubled right now. If anything, I should be-"

"Hope, please stop," Lightning said as she knelt down at the side of his bed, "You are the most beautiful, perfect, righteous, and amazing person I have ever met. You are the greatest thing to happen to me in my life, and I tried to force something evil and vile on you. I became the one thing I hated the most in this world, and I hurt you because of it. I really want you to understand that. I need you to know that what happened to you was by no fault of your own. If I have any hope of earning your trust and forgiveness once again, please accept what I did. Please, Hope."

"I forgive you," Hope replied.

"No, Hope, you don't understand. I tried to force myself onto you. You don't just forgive someone for that. You need to-"

"I've forgiven you already," Hope said as his puffy eyes began running with tears, "Because, if I don't forgive you, If I choose to hold these terrifying feelings against you, then… I…"

"Hope? What, Hope? Tell me…"

"If I don't forgive you, then there won't be anyone I like… There won't be anyone that I love. I don't want to live like that anymore. I can't go back to that life, not after feeling what I feel when I am with you. Please, let me do this…" Hope begged of her.

Lightning's own tears trickled down her face as she reached out her hand to his arm. She jerked it back in fear as the thought of her touch against his skin might invoke the same terror it had when she was on top of him last morning. Hope tried to meet her, reaching his hand out to her, but slowly withdrew it as she refused him. An expression of dejection and worthlessness settled across his face as he wiped his eyes with his hospital gown.

"No, Hope, it's not that I don't… I'm sorry. Please, just tell me what I can do for you. I'll do anything," Lightning said.

"I want to go home. I want to be there with you right now. That's all I want," Hope replied.

"I want to go home too," Lightning said as she lay her head on the bed beside his shoulder.

"And I want to hold your hand," Hope said, "May I hold your hand?"

Lightning sat up from the bed and pulled the bedside chair to the bed before sitting down. She brought herself a comfortable distance from him before taking his hand inside of hers.

"Thank you," Hope whispered.

Lightning turned her embarrassed face away from him and faced the wall as she grasped his hand.

"Why?" Lightning asked, "Why let me touch you again?"

"I'm afraid that each time you touch me, it will be the last. I'm terrified of it," Hope replied.

"Hope… Can I tell you something?" Lightning asked, "It's about me. It's about who I was before I became a Soldier. I want you to think hard on this before you decide anything more about me. I just need you to know… I want you to choose me for me. I can't bear to lose you again, but you need to know who I was before you decide to come home. I don't want to lie to you anymore."


	8. Like Fire

**8**

**Like Fire**

"Claire? When are we going home?" Little Serah asked.

Claire held her sister reassuringly. "I don't know, Serah. Just stay with me and you will be okay."

The room they occupied was vast and dark. With each footstep, their toes tapped against the hardwood. The room was clearly part of a much bigger house; but the lights, heat, and furniture were much to be desired. The single door at the far end of the room teased the glow of light through the cracks between the door and its threshold.

"What do you think they will do with us?" Serah asked as she clung to her sister.

"They won't do anything to you, Serah. I promise."

"We've been in here for so long, Claire. I'm so hungry," Serah said as she clutched at her abdomen.

"Here," Claire said as she produced a small package of crackers hidden inside the seam of her tattered coat, "I was saving these for an emergency, but it looks like these people won't be feeding us often. We are just going to have to wait for-"

The door opposite of them clanged loudly, indicating that the large lock that held the door closed had been removed. The large door slowly creaked open to reveal a man in a suit.

The man cast a cold, expressionless gaze before speaking. "You there, it's time."

Neither of the sisters moved. Serah hid behind her older sister as Claire tried to take a defensive stance in front of her smaller sibling.

"You, the little one. They want to see you. Come with me now," The man said as he approached the two.

Claire adopted a tone to match her defiant stance. "She's not going with you."

The man reached for Serah with his hand and grasped her tiny shoulder. As he pulled, Claire put her body weight on the man's arm and bit down hard into his forearm.

"Fuck!" The man exclaimed as he struck Claire on the side of her face, knocking her back into the wall, "You stupid little shit! When I get back, you and me, we are going to have some fun."

Seeing her sister struggle against him was tearing Serah apart. "Claire, stop! Just do as he says!"

"Serah! Go now! Run!" Claire screamed, "Just like we practiced!"

Serah ran towards the open door and bolted out of sight as Claire jumped on the man and pulled furiously at his hair. The man swung his body about, ultimately throwing Claire against the wall once more. The man gathered himself and ran out of the room. He glanced left to right before putting his finger to his ear.

"The younger one is attempting to escape. House wide order, find her before the Master and his friends return," The man said, "Otherwise, my team to my location. Our problem child has a lesson to learn."

Claire struggled to stand on her feet as she clutched her side in pain.

"She's gone. She knows exactly where she is going. You will never find her."

"Oh? Is that so?" The man asked as he approached her, "You have been a pain in my ass since you arrived. If it wasn't for that cute little sister of yours, the Master would have never kept you alive. Did you ever stop to think about that?"

"There's nothing you can do to me," Claire said as she staggered back onto the floor.

"Why don't we test that," The man said as he began to unbutton his suit coat, "Let's just see how much you know and do not know before the Master gets a chance to be rid of you."

Lightning scooted away from him in terror. "What are you doing?!"

"Oh, please. This isn't your first. I'm not one of those stupid, pompous patrons of yours that enjoy your little games. You think I can't hurt you? I can hurt you. I can hurt you real bad," He growled from the base of his throat as his shirt fell from his body.

The man grabbed at Claire's legs and dragged him closer to her. He pinned her below him and pried her legs open with his hands.

"Stop! Please!" Claire screamed.

The man struck her face again, this time leaving her head to recoil back and make contact with the hardwood below. The force of the blow sent a searing pain deep into the recesses of her head.

The man bought his lips to her neck before speaking. "You know, you'd be a lot cuter if you kept that fucking mouth of yours shut."

"I hate you! You're a pig! Get off me!" Claire tried to say as his hands found themselves a place around her throat.

The man wrestled his belt and waistband away from his core and pushed her skirt up to her navel. He tore away at her tattered underclothes leaving her lower body bare against the cold of the hardwood.

"Just wait till my friends get here. We are going to teach you what they do to slaves like you."

* * *

Lightning reached into her coat pocket for her cigarettes and shakily withdrew one from the pack. Her trembling fingers brought the filter end to her lips as she sought it out like a baby bird in a nest seeking its returning mother. Knowing that she couldn't light it in the hospital, she kept it at her lips for its familiarity. It was her only friend whenever she was plagued by the memories of her past, and she welcomed even just the sensation of its presence. Lightning secluded herself in her chair, withdrawing her hand away from Hope.

Hope sat up in his bed and stared at the broken woman.

Hope was the first to break their silence. "I'm so sorry, Miss Lightning. I had no idea."

"Yeah, well…" Lightning said as she shakily wiped tears from her eyes, "We've all had bad days, you know?"

Hope's response peeled away from his lips as he dumbfoundedly responded. "How can you just…?"

"You know, the worst of it was trying to just… just…" Lightning said as she pushed her face into her hands, "I tried. I tried so fucking hard. And then I met you and I wanted to. I really wanted to. You were the first man I met besides Snow or Amodar that really wanted to be with me. Hell, you were the first that really truly loved me like you do. I wanted to love you too, Hope, but when I try I have to fight these feelings and I feel so lost and torn. I become that evil person who tried to hurt you. I just want this nightmare to end. I just want to be free of this pain, and I want to see you smile again."

Hope reached for her hand and grasped it. He pulled her by her hand and led her back to the edge of the bed. Lightning blindly followed his lead as she tried to find a dry patch of her sleeve to press against her eyes. Hope brought her to the side of the bed and pulled her hand to his chest with one hand as his other caressed her cheek. Lightning knelt at the side of the bed as Hope guided her head into his lap. He grazed the back of his hand up and down the side of her face as she buried her head in the blanket that separated her cheek from his leg.

"I love you," He said softly, "You were the first to ever hold me, to touch me, to look at me without hurting me. You fed me without condition or order, you clothed me, you protected me, and you never crept into my bed while slept. I can accept you as you are. I can forgive you for what you've done. I can still be by your side if you'll choose to accept me. I don't want to be anywhere else. I don't want to feel another's embrace. Please let me be with you, Miss Ligh-"

"Claire. It's not Miss Lightning, or Lightning, it's Claire. Claire Farron. I… I hate Claire. I hate everything about her. I hate how vulnerable and weak she is. I hate how afraid she has become, but Claire is who I really am. Lightning can't hide her anymore. Not from you."

"I don't hate you, Claire," Hope whispered as he continued to caress her cheek, "I love you, Claire. If I can't change the hate in your heart, the fear you have, or take away the pain you feel, then let me love you. Let me be the one to love Claire."

"I need you, Hope. It hurts me to be with you. The love I have is impure, it is carnal, and it is unforgiving, but I still love you. I want to change," She said as her hand clutched at his chest, "But I can't stand the pain I feel when I am without you."

"I don't care. I don't care about any of that. I just want you, Claire."

"I'm afraid that I'll hurt you," Claire replied, "I still feel that same desire when I look at you. I can't stop it."

"I know."

"How can you still-"

"I love you," Hope interrupted, "And I can't stop myself from doing so. I can accept your gaze, your touch, and your feelings no matter how impure. If it is a need that you have, I want to be the one to-"

Lightning raised her head, her eyes meeting his. "Hope, it's not right. It never will be. You shouldn't make that kind of offer. Not to me. Not ever."

"I don't care," He said sternly, "I'm not going to lose you. Hell, I'll find a judge who will overlook my age and will let me be with you. I will do whatever it takes to stay by your side. I don't care what I have to do, you're the only person that I-"

"You mean… like marriage? I can't promise you that kind of love, Hope. Even if I could say as such, I can't give you that kind of love. You should be cared for by someone who won't taint what youth left that you have with such-"

"Claire, look at me," Hope ordered.

Lightning looked at him, lips quivering.

"Claire, what am I to you?"

Claire's quivering of her lips deepened into a more pronounced trembling as tears fell from her face onto the blanket. She tried to fight the pain that dwelled within as she searched her heart for her answer. Her eyes closed, she bowed her head into his lap as she released a restrained yet audible cry from her open mouth. She wrapped her arms around his waist and clung tightly to him as he wrapped his arms around her head and neck.

His words left Lightning to squeal her pleas between breaths. "It hurts so much! It hurts so fucking much. I love you. I don't want you to go! Please don't go… please, Hope…"

"I don't want to go," He replied, clutching furiously at her as his own tears embraced the strands of her pink hair on the top of her head, "I want to go home…"

A knock at their door brought the two back to the reality of the hospital. Lightning released her hold of him and sat back into her chair as Hope jerked his head towards the door. The figure behind the blur of the window door stepped inside.

"Hope?" Serah said, "Oh my God, Hope! It's really you! Are you okay? What happened?!"

Hope turned to her and smiled. "I'm okay. Claire took care of me."

"Thank God," She replied as relief washed over her, "Did you- Wait a minute…"

"What's wrong?" Claire asked as she tried to hide wipe her tears out of sight of her sister.

Serah snapped to her sister. "He called you Claire. What's going on?"

"Serah, I need to tell you something."

"No, Claire. You don't have to do this," Hope implored.

"Hope, I need to do this. She deserves to know, and if she feels I am not best for you and your safety, then-"

"Please!" Hope begged, "I forgave you already. Isn't that enough?"

Lightning turned back to Hope. "Hope, Serah and Snow are your family too. I don't want to hide anymore, not from you or my sister."

"But she'll take me away from you if you-"

"What did you do, Claire?!" Serah said, interrupting Hope.

"I… please, Serah. Can we-"

Serah was becoming impatient. "Claire, what did you do?!"

"Why don't you two go for a walk?" Snow asked as he entered the room, Fang in tow, "We need to talk to Hope anyway."

Lightning stood and turned to Snow and Fang to demand answers. "What's she doing here?!"

"Lightning, just give her a chance," Snow began, "She knows more than you think. She's not like them, just-"

"Hope? Hope Estheim?" Fang whispered as she stepped into the room.

"Fang?" Hope asked, "How can you… It can't be…"

Fang rushed Hope's beside and hugged him.

"You're okay! Thank God, you're okay!" Fang exclaimed as she embraced him.

Hope spoke softly as he returned her embrace. "It's nice to see you too, Fang."

Lightning put herself between Hope and Fang and pushed Fang away.

"Don't you dare touch him," She snarled.

Fang put her hands up and stepped a pace away from Hope's bedside. "Hey, easy does it, Soldier."

"It's okay," Hope said, "She's one of the good ones."

Lightning clutched her forehead as she sat back down. "I don't know anymore…"

Serah grasped the door handle as she beckoned her sister. "Lightning, c'mon. We still need to talk. Snow will take care of them for now."

Lightning trudged after her sister and out of sight of the rest of them.

* * *

"So let me see if I have this correct," Serah said as she and her sister walked about just outside the hospital campus, "You and Hope were alone on your couch together and you… tried to…"

"I tried to be intimate with him, yes," Claire explained once more.

Serah brought her hand to her forehead as she voiced her displeasure. "Please don't say it like that. I mean… why? How could you do this?!"

"I think… I'm…" Lightning mumbled, "I…"

"You're what?" Serah asked, "Don't tell me something stupid like you're in love with him or anything."

"Oh… uh right. Well… I don't want to say that..." Lightning mumbled again as she ran her hands through her hair.

"Oh, Dear Etro, no. Please don't say it…"

"I don't know what it is, but maybe I-," Lightning said as she forced a smile.

"How?! How do you know?! You can't do this! You can't be serious!"

"I've never felt so much pain before," Lightning said as she lit her cigarette desperately, "Don't you think that's funny? That I can feel like this? It's so cruel, don't you think?"

Disbelief echoed from Serah's words. "Holy… You're telling the truth. If you really did as you have said, why is he still with you?!"

"He said he wants to be," Lightning said as she exhaled her first breath of sweet smoke, "He wants to find a judge who will let us get married or something like that."

Serah threw her shoulders back and sighed. "That boy is more insane than you are. I heard him say he forgave you already. Is this what he was talking about?"

Lightning nodded as she brought her cigarette to her lips again.

"Am I supposed to be angry at you right now?" Serah asked in a huff, "Because it feels like I need to be angry at you."

Lightning let the smoke chase her next words. "I won't stop you."

"I… ugh…" Serah murmured, "It's up to Hope to forgive you. I'm going to try to respect that."

"If that's how you feel... Wait, really? That's it?!"

"He has made his choice. But you need to understand!" Serah exclaimed, "You can't be intimate with a sixteen-year-old old!"

"Don't you think I know that?!"

"I really hope so. Because it sounds like you don't. What if he was more willing?! Would you really have gone through with it? How would you be able to face him again? Even if you are in love or whatever you think this is. there are some things you simply cannot do!" Serah said.

"I know, Serah. I know…"

"At least you had enough sense to not go through with it, the both of you," Serah replied.

Lightning brought her cigarette to her lips again and paused. "So are you going to take him away from me? Are you going to tell Snow?"

"No… just… no. You were able to show some restraint, both of you were, and it is up to Hope to decide who he wishes to share such a thing. Besides, Snow and I were talking about it, and we had something of a similar idea regarding the judge and marriage thing."

"Oh?" Lightning asked.

"He was talking about Hope's legal status. Since he doesn't really exist, and since no one will in their right mind publically claim his as a 'slave', he could apply for emancipation by a court, presuming we can prove who he is."

"What does that do?" Lightning asked, "I don't see how it safely anchors him to anything or anyone."

"Well, since he can't really prove self-sufficiency to a court, he could, given permission by a willing judge, get married maybe. I don't honestly know and I don't think Snow does either. But marriage would grant him emancipation and secure his legal status not just as a citizen but as a member of a family."

Lightning erupted with laughter as she tossed her used cigarette into the street.

"It doesn't work like that!" Lightning cried out, "Oh, Dear Etro, what on Cocoon are you two thinking?"

Serah pressed her foot to the ground poutingly. "Well?! It might happen!"

"Serah, no judge is going to let me, an adult Guardian Corps Soldier, marry a sixteen-slash-seventeen year old that she 'bought' with her own money. Mind you, he is most likely an orphan who has had his identification and legal statuses wiped from existence so he can better serve his 'purpose'. When they find out about how he came to live with me and that he is currently living with me now, I would most likely lose my job and go to jail; and he would probably be absorbed by the foster system. Even if I wanted to marry him, there is absolutely no way I could. Just get that idea out of-"

"Hey now, it was Snow's idea! I'm just telling you what he was thinking," Serah said, "Besides, with what you just told me earlier, there's no way I'd let something like that happen. But you and Hope... it sounds like a-"

"Good then, so let's drop that idea." Lightning replied, "So… He can come home with me?"

Serah faced her sister again and crossed her arms. "For now. Provided that you keep your hands off of him. You don't say anything, do anything, or touch him unless it is for his benefit or he specifically requests something of you. In fact, why don't you let him order you around? If I hear you tried to do anything other than what I have told you now, you will never see him again. Do you understand, Claire?"

Lightning nodded.

"Good," Serah said, "And Claire?"

"Yeah, sis?"

"What happened to you, all those years ago… Just don't let what happened affect how your relationship with him. No matter what you think, you can still love him properly. You know that, right?" Serah asked as she reached for her sister's hand.

Lightning gently pressed her forehead against her sister's head. "I'm really trying, Serah. I really am."

"I know," Serah whispered, "I know you are."

* * *

"They took her," Fang explained as her joy of seeing Hope became replaced with gut-wrenching pain, "Vanille, she took her."

Hope adopted an expression of fearful desperation. "How? You paid for her and took her home with you! How did this happen?"

"When you tried to escape, Nabaat became fixated on tightening her grip on who she had left. One night, I came home and she was gone. Nabaat denies anything, but I don't believe her."

"I'm confused," Snow said, "What is going on, Hope?"

"Fang used to be Nabaat's PSICOM SS officer that was in charge of me. She was in charge of myself and a girl name Vanille. She took pity on us and tried to help us the best she could. She bought out the rights to Vanille after she saw Vanille being abused by some of Nabaat's supposed friends. When Nabaat did nothing, Fang took Vanille into her home."

"I tried to buy out Hope too," Fang explained to Snow, "But you only have one 'life's savings', you know? I was still with the SS at the time, so Vanille and I couldn't go far. Nabaat was still around."

"I see. And if Vanille was taken, Hope's safety may be in just as much jeopardy."

"Exactly," Lightning said as she and her sister came back into the room.

Fang nearly jumped out of her seat at Hope's beside when she heard the Soldier's voice. She awkwardly stood and offered her seat to Lightning so she could go stand in the corner farther from the boy. Lightning reluctantly nodded towards Fang, allowing her to reclaim her seat.

"You heard, huh?" Fang said.

"So what are we going to do then?" Serah inquired.

Lightning was the first to offer a solution. "Hope can stay with me. Fang can too while we search for Vanille."

"You really mean it?!" Fang and Hope said in unison.

"You're gonna help me find Vanille?" Fang asked eagerly.

Lightning brought her hand to her hip as she turned to the two. "If it will help me better know Nabaat's organization and save a friend of Hope's, then yes."

"And we'll just be a phone call away," Snow said as Serah interlocked her fingers with his.

Hope picked himself up from the bed and ran the short distance across the room to where Lightning stood. Arms outstretched, he thrust himself into her before throwing his arms around her slender waist. Smiling, he looked up at the red-faced, embarrassed woman.

Hope's eyes met Lightning's as he spoke. "I can still come home?"

Lightning nodded.

"I'll go find your doctor," Snow said.

* * *

"Well, here we are," Lightning said as she opened her front door.

Hope squirmed his way past her into the apartment and wrestled his shoes off of his feet before making his way to the bedroom.

Hope called back to the two as he made his was forward. "I'm going to shower."

Lightning followed the young man inside and began to make progress on removing her boots.

"So this is it…" Fang said from the doorway as she looked around.

Lightning's fatigue was bettering her as her attempts to remove her boots landed her square on her rear, skirt flipped up towards her navel to reveal her legs and her spats.

"You're real pretty, ain't ya?" Fang asked as she looked at her, "I can see why Hope is always staring at ya. Especially if this kind of view is routine."

Lightning answered back fiercely, in anger, and partly squeaking in embarrassment like a teenager being called out on a crush by an older, more insensitive peer. "You wanna sleep outside?!"

"Okay, okay. I'll keep my mouth shut," Fang replied as Lightning finally tore her boots off.

Fang walked past Lightning and approached the couch. She unbuttoned her coat before planting herself down and across the length of the couch with her head propped up against the headrest.

Lighting adopted a facetious tone. "Please, sleep anywhere you want."

"What am I supposed to do? Sleep in the bedroom with you and Hope?" Fang asked.

"We don't sleep together. So get off the couch."

"You two will figure something out," Fang replied as she pulled her arms behind her head.

"I don't see how you can just-"

*ZZZzzz…"

"Whatever," Lightning said as she begrudgingly approached her bedroom door.

She turned the door handle and stepped into the bedroom. She glanced around, relieved Hope was still in the shower, and made her way to the bathroom door before knocking.

"Hope? Are you okay?" Lightning asked, "I am going to have to sleep in here too."

Hope's voice called to her from behind the door. "Can you come in?"

"I don't think that would be good," Lightning replied.

He called to her again. "Please, Claire."

Lightning gingerly opened the door and peeked inside. She saw Hope sitting down in the tub as the shower head rained down hot water on him. Seeing him alive and in her own home again brought a sense of joy and relief. Gone were her machinations of desire and inhibition. Who she saw in front of her broke her heart as equally as the happiness she felt when she looked at him. He was still beautiful to her, but concern superseded her desire now.

Concern in her voice, she stepped towards him. "What's wrong?"

"My body," He replied, "It feels like white hot needles all over my body when I shower, and it hurts to stand up or move. It hurts a lot."

"The doctor said you might still feel like that when you're recovering, remember? It's not bad, it means you're feeling in those parts of your body is coming back."

"It really hurts," He said as his face began to bear the expression of pain, "Help me."

Lightning charged into the bathroom and turned off the water. She snatched a towel from the rack behind her and threw it over his head before picking him up and bridal-carried him into the bedroom. She set him down on the edge of the bed, Hope grimacing in pain as she did.

Lightning stopped, taking a precious moment to prepare Hope before she continued. "I'm going to dry you off, I'll try to make it quick, okay?"

Hope nodded.

Lightning took his arm, his face wincing with her touch, and wiped the towel across the length of his forearm.

Hope cried out in agony. "AH! Please! It hurts! It's like fire, Claire. Please..."

"I'm so sorry," Lightning pleaded "Can I try to pat you dry instead? I just don't want you to catch a cold."

Hope took a moment to catch his breath before nodding again.

This time, Lightning brought the towel back to his forearm and gently pressed the towel down into his skin. He grimaced in pain again, but noticeably less so. She took his other arm and did the same. With each motion, she stole a glance at his face in anticipation that he would ask her to stop. She dried his legs next before wrapping the towel around his cheeks and the top of his head to soak the water that was there.

"It's just my arms, legs, and face," Hope said, "I think I can manage everything else."

Lightning helped Hope up to standing position at the foot of the bed. Hope took the towel from her and, with great effort, dried his groin, chest, and back. Lightning stepped away momentarily only to return to him with some fresh boxers and a t-shirt.

Lightning held out his clothes. "Do you need help with these?"

Hope nodded.

Hope raised his arms as Lightning brought the shirt over his head and gently unrolled it across his neck and shoulders. Hope winced in pain as the fabric grazed his arms and his cheeks. Lightning did the same with his boxers, this time making every attempt to keep her fingers and the fabric from grazing his skin. As she approached his midsection, Hope brought his hands down and over his groin in a desperate attempt to cover himself.

"Can you do the rest? With you hands there, your boxers can only go to your thigh," Lightning said.

Hope bit his lower lip and turned away from her, refusing to give her an answer.

"Hope, I only want to touch you how you want me to. Please answer me. Do you want me to keep going or no?"

Hope turned back to her to reveal tears welling in his puffy, red eyes. He let his hands fall to his side to finally show what he hid behind his hands. Lightning did her best to overlook its blatant presence as she finished dressing him. She quickly moved away from him and to the other side of the bed to change as well. As she did, she made concerted efforts to avoid any eye contact as she said nothing to him.

"I'm so sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have-"

"You can't control something like that, Hope. It's okay," Claire said as she wrestled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"It's not okay It hurts when it gets like this, and it doesn't go away until someone is done using me! I'm so sick of it! When I get like this, it just means they are right! If I didn't want those things to happen to me, why would I become like this?! I must really want to be touched, just like they say when they touch me! It's all my fault. I just want to die…"

Lightning finished dressing and made her way back over to Hope. Hope kept his head down as he clenched his teeth and swore at the ground. His hands maintained their position in front of his groin as his fingers tried to cover as much of the protrusion as they could.

"Hope, it breaks my heart to hear you say such things," Lightning said past the lump in her throat, "Becoming aroused has nothing to do with whether or not you want to be hurt. It is no excuse. When I… When I was hurt… I also… would..."

Hope looked up at her, matching the tears that fell from her face with his own.

Lightning forced her words as she fought desperately to keep herself together. "They used to say, 'You're wet… you must want this,' and then they would… It's not you Hope. It was never you… Do you understand me?"

Hope dropped his hands to his sides, revealing once again the evidence of his arousal. He reached his hand out toward the woman in front of him and pawed at the t-shirt that hung below her waist.

He looked up at her, hope in his heart for the first time in a woman's bedroom. "So it's okay if I'm like this? It doesn't mean I wanted them to do what they did to me?"

"Of course not," She replied as she grasped the hand that clung to her t-shirt, "You were pure then, and you still are. Don't ever believe those lies."

Hope wrapped his arms around himself and stared at his bare feet. "I want to hug you, but I don't want it to touch you."

Lightning took the needed step forward and threw her arms around him.

"It's touching you. Please. I can feel it. You don't have to-"

"I don't care!" Lightning cried out, "I made a promise to only touch you if you want me to, and only to touch you how you want me to. I can't stand being unable to touch you anymore. I don't care, Hope. I don't care about any of it anymore. Just please don't say those things again. I don't want you to die. You can't leave me, not again."

Hope wrapped his arms around her and dug his face into her shoulder as he cried.

"I want to be strong like you. I want to protect you like you have protected me. I want to be someone who can stand beside you."

"Whatever you want, I will do for you," She said as she clung to him, "I will make you stronger so you won't ever have to leave. I won't let that happen."

Hope relaxed his arms from around her waist and spoke, almost in a whisper, "I can't breathe, you're suffocating me."

Lightning released him, relieving Hope of the bear hold she had on him.

"Sorry. I didn't realize how strongly I held onto you. I won't do it again."

"It's okay," Hope said, "I like feeling how strong you are when you touch me. Just in moderation is all."

Lightning turned away from him to hide her blush and made her way to one side of the bed. She lifted up the covers before easing herself onto the bed. Hope went to the other side of the bed and stood.

"May I… um…"

Lightning reached to his side of the bed and grasped the sheets in her hand. She raised her arm up, pulling the sheets open as she did, to invite him into the bed.

Hope climbed into bed and remained motionless and Lightning brought the sheets and the blanket down over him and tucked them underneath him on each side. Once she had tucked him in, she draped one arm over him and pulled him next to her. Hope wrestled one hand up and over the sheets to grasp within his hand the t-shirt that covered her. Lightning flicked the switch on the bedside lamp with her free hand. As the lights dimmed, Lightning nuzzled herself around him as Hope tucked his face in the space between her shoulder and her cheek.

He whispered as gently pressed his lips against her cheek. "Good night, Claire."

Claire caressed the back of his head with her palm. "Good night. Get some rest, Hope."

 

 

 

 


	9. Tibi Magno Cum Amor

**prince_fiend - If only for you at the very least my friend, there will be more.**

**9**

**Tibi Magno Cum Amor**

Lightning threw her head back and pressed the palms of her hands into the sockets of her eyes. She sighed loudly and put her feet up on her desk as her arms fell to her sides like ragdolls. Noticing a silence overtake the room, she glanced around her. She wasn't the only Soldier on the floor of the precinct today, and lately, everything she did was being scrutinized by the rest of the unit. Whispered huddles formed in all corners of the floor as glances were stolen in her direction and the PSICOM officer that approached her.

Oblivious to the mood around her, Fang approached Lightning's desk and pulled a chair up beside her before sitting down. "What's got you down in the dumps, girlie?"

"Stop calling me that," Lightning responded annoyedly.

Once again, her teasing produced another amusing response. Fang sighed happily and placed her chin on Lightning's desk. "Oh, come on, then. Be the sweetheart we both know and love."

Lightning stood from her desk in a huff and turned toward the break room. Fang chased her into the break room as she continued to tease her.

"You can't be like that now. What will little Mr. Lightning say when you get home with _that_ look on your face? Hm? 'Tis the season of joy and passion, you know?"

Lightning tried to ignore her new, ill-mannered partner as she poured herself a cup of the GC's infamously bad coffee. Fang's teasing wasn't anything new. She had been living with her and Hope for nearly a month and each passing day was a test of the Soldier's patience. Lightning was proud, stoic, fearless, and emotionally unwavering whereas Fang was teasing, probing, and almost grossly comedic. Her teasing spared no embarrassing moment for Lightning whenever Hope brought her some breakfast he made for her from the tiny kitchen or whenever Lightning (and a prying Fang) discovered a handwritten note of encouragement in her lunch. Her latest domestic teasing, Fang holding a piece of mistletoe above their heads as she and Hope ate dinner the evening prior, had induced roaring laughter from Fang and a futile attempt by the young man to kiss the Soldier. Lightning had stormed away into the bedroom in embarrassment before she allowed anything else to further her temper.

Lightning sipped her coffee and tried to ignore her. She looked out the open break room door and met the staring gazes of the other GC staff. The past month had been a confusing one for her precinct. Lightning, Snow, and Fang had been an inseparable team. Despite her recent run-ins with PSICOM, Lightning brought a PSICOM officer into the precinct and committed to working with her. The three of them had solved more missing persons cases this week than she ever had in her career. The trio's clearance rate for missing persons was the highest in the department, but Lightning had no intention of broadcasting that feat to the rest of the Guardian Corps. No Soldier with any pride would side with her and her newfound PSICOM friend and she didn't want to force any more bad blood than she already had.

The concerns of the pink-haired Soldier were seemingly lost on her messy-haired partner as she continued to tease her.

"You know, Snow took the day today to spend time with Serah to get ready for Christmas. I could go over to their place for the night since the three of us don't have any cases right now. Every day after work these past few weeks you've been working Hope to death with his conditioning and training. I know you want Hope to be stronger, but why not take tonight for the two of you? He could use a day of rest and he'd love to spend the evening tending to you. You could use some pampering. What about a nice dinner and then-"

Lightning's sour mood turned into a short flare of anger. "You know what, Fang? Sometimes you take things too far, you know that? Hope isn't just this faucet of romance and kindness that I can turn on and off when I want to, and I'm getting really sick of your teasing right now. You always do this. You make fun of me when he's there, and you make fun of me when he's not. If you had any idea how I really felt about him then you wouldn't-"

Lightning stopped. Her words trapped her on top of a proverbial land mine with any attempt to explain them triggering its detonation. Fang crossed her arms and looked inquisitively at the red-faced woman while Lightning tried to shy herself away behind her coffee mug. Unlike Lightning, Fang wasn't riddled with turmoil and confusion about Hope. Fang could see what Lightning couldn't when she looked at Lightning and Hope together. She could also see that it was tearing Lightning apart. Hope was still relatively young, so whether or not he understood Lightning or not could be forgiven. At least he was trying. For Lightning, however, it was inexcusable. Fang was becoming frustrated with Lightning. Lightning's Duchenne smile, bright eyes, bouncing steps, and joyful laughter in his presence made it clear to everyone but Lightning who Hope really was. There was a method to Fang's truth-glazed teasing, and Lightning just wasn't getting it.

Fang countered Lightning's exuded uncertainty with a definitive tone. "Look here. I took it too far, okay? But you've been working really hard here with all the cases and then going home to train Hope into the wee hours of the night. He wakes up before you do to make you breakfast and a lunch to take to work, you know that? You're both tired and you could both use a night in to recuperate. I know you wanna bring down the entire "empire of slavery" right now. Hell, you'd do it tonight if you could. But these missing persons cases are the baby steps we need to take to know more about what we're dealing with, and you can't take those steps if you're too tired to do so. Go home. Go home to him. I won't be there tonight to stop you."

Lightning cast aside her anger and embarrassment for a disposition of guilt of gut-wrenching desperation. She knew she needed him. She needed him tonight, but she was too afraid that her own needs were out of the bounds of his own. Fang's words swept through her mind like the dissolution of a sugar cube in a cup of Christmas eggnog. She wanted desperately what Fang had described to her. However, Lightning couldn't believe that a simple evening with Hope was a cure-all for her troubles, nor did she believe that in the intimate presence of him could she maintain the simplicity and boundaries of the evening's purpose: dinner and only dinner. Lightning grazed the side of her thigh with her fingertips and dug the nails into her flesh just below the hem of her short skirt. To anyone else, her thoughts could have been interpreted as playful fantasy, but Lightning was not nearly as forgiving of herself like just anyone. She had no right to be, not after what she did to him, and she tried to use the pain of her nails burying themselves into her flesh to pull her away from such a fantasy world. She was going to have to say something in response to Fang's offer, and she knew she needed to say no for his sake.

Her voice matching the clamminess in her hands, Lightning eased a response. "So… um… you'll stay at Snow's tonight then?"

 _What are you thinking?! That didn't sound like a "no", did it, you stupid woman?!_ Lightning berated herself.

"Or I might stay here tonight," Fang replied as she uncrossed her arms, "I could spend the night at your desk going through the materials I have on Vanille's case. I know I'm not well liked around here, but it's not like they'd kick me out or anything. Besides, I know she's out there. I know we're close."

_This time, Lightning, you say, "No." You know that this is a bad idea._

"Oh… okay then, if that's your plan for tonight…"

_What is wrong with you?!_

* * *

Lightning opened her front door and removed the key from the deadbolt as she pressed forward into the apartment. She retrieved her shaking hand from the keyhole and jammed it into her pocket.

"Hello?" Came from a voice further within the room, "Is that you, Light? You're home early. Hang on a second."

Lightning looked in the direction of the young man. Hope was huddled over the tiny, makeshift kitchen he had made by the sink. A pot above a single burner held a boiling froth with spatters of vegetables and noodles as Hope dipped a wooden spoon in and out periodically to check its smell and taste. As Lightning painfully tried to wrestle her coat from her aching body, she watched Hope untie his well-used apron from behind his neck and drape it across the door of an open cabinet before making his way toward her.

Hope stepped behind her and placed two careful hands upon her shoulders. "Here, I'll get that for you."

As he gently removed her coat from her body, Lightning froze. His hands caressing themselves from her shoulders down the back of her arms was always a welcoming sensation. It would always begin with a feeling of solace and serenity. Next came the subconscious fixation on his action. The feeling of being cared as the first thing she felt when she came home brought mixed emotion. Sure, it made her happy. She would smile as he hung her coat on a hook by the door, her arms crossed and hands tracing the path his fingers had paved across her skin. However, it the wake of the joy and pleasure of his simple gesture always came the guilt and insecurity. She hated herself for enjoying such a simple touch from him, and she hated the pleasure it brought her. If only he know what she felt when he touched her, the thoughts she harbored for him, the trust she betrayed each time her lips curled in pleasure…

Lately, however, someone was there to turn this situation, and others like it, into a half-assed attempt of a joke. Fang could sometimes be a one-trick kind of jokester. Nearly each and every time, Fang would bump Hope into Lightning as his hands flanked each side of her neck. He would fall forward, his arms wrapping themselves around her as he pressed his face into her cheek. Fang would nonchalantly make her way to the couch and cowl, "Get a room already. Oh wait, you already do, don't ya?" or something to that effect as Hope picked himself up off of Lightning and resumed his work in by the small kitchen. Embarrassed as he was by her antics, he could always manage a laugh. Lightning, however, remained absorbed by her own embarrassment and frustration. She would remain motionless where she was and stewed in anger at how the other two could move on so effortlessly. The feeling finally passing, Lightning would set herself down on her rear and kick her nearly bare legs up in the air as she tried to wrestle her boots off of her feet. There might have been a better method, yes, but her skirt wouldn't flip up towards her navel otherwise, and she wouldn't have been able to ask herself if Hope had stolen a glance at her as she did so. No matter how many days passed, she never had enough courage to either glance up at him as she was on the floor or ask him if he saw.

After replacing her coat onto the coat hook on the wall, Hope stood behind her, staring at her. Fang's teasing was routine to him too, it would seem, and he remained puzzled as to what to do next.

"Um… I'll go back to making dinner then," Hope mumbled.

Lightning turned to him and nodded, dismissing him.

Hope resumed his work at the kitchen as Lightning sat herself down on her rear once more to wrestle her boots off of her feet. She did so countless times before, but only when Fang had brought it up did she become self-conscious of it. Again, her skirt flipped up towards her navel, exposing her shorts spats and bare legs, as she pulled fiercely at her right boot. Managing the first one, she reached for her left boot. Their daily routine already disrupted, Lightning willed herself to glance up at Hope very briefly. She gave a fraction of a second to herself and pulled it back as quickly as she held it there. She tipped her head forward in an effort to try to cover her deepening red face with her pink bangs. Her quivering fingers struggled to grasp the clasps of her boot as her heart rate and breathing raced ahead of her and her singular thought:

_He saw._

He was looking. He was definitely looking. Fang was right about this, at least. His looking at her scared her right now. But why should it scare her? Since Fang made her aware of it, she could have just as well found another way to take her boots off. She didn't, though. Did she want him to look? Maybe, but perhaps because she never considered he would. He wasn't like that, was he? He wasn't like _them,_ right? She believed so, and when she put herself in such a situation, perhaps she was only entertaining the fantasy that he was looking even though he never would. The difference between fantasy and reality was gone now, and despite in fantasy where your imagination caters only to your fantasy and not your fears, reality was much more cruel.

Lightning managed to get her left boot off of her foot and stood. When she did, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

Hope had been standing above her and met her, face to face, when she stood. Only then was she aware of his presence, and such sudden awareness in her present state of mind only served to startle her. Still shorter than her, Hope stared up at her with serious intent. He took her by the hand firmly and led her to the couch. This version of him was too new to her. He sat her down and looked down at her unwaveringly. She tried to match his gaze only to achieve minimal clarity. His face and form were cloudy as her fear, anticipation, racing heart, and unproductive breathing interfered with her ability to see what she desperately needed to. How was he seeing her now? Countless heartless men before him stared down at her as he did right now. Each time they did, a growing body of past experience threatened her with the knowledge of what those men would do to her. In those moments, her experience and fear never lied to her. He continued to stare down at her as she pressed herself back into the couch cushion. They were alone now, and he was very aware of that.

She tried to stand, only to be met by his hands pushing her back down into the couch. She clenched her eyes closed as tears trickled down the side of her face. She was stronger than who she used to be, sure, but the mind always reverts back to the days of terror and subservience. It forces you to comply. It forces you to be used as you once were before. As physical bounds are violated, so are the psychological promises of self-preservation and security that every mammal tries to force itself to believe. It was to this effect that Lightning wavered under once more, just as she had done so many times before. This time, however, she was painfully aware of her own sins, and she considered that this was a fitting retribution for them. The only one there could be.

The pressing, painful aching began again between her legs as her heart began racing even faster. A slight soiling began down the center of her spats as her tears flowed ever quicker down her cheeks. The mind and body pull apart in such a position, and they remain apart until their separation is not longer needed.

Hope knelt down and grazed his hand up the length of her thigh as he spoke, his voice low and demanding. "Is there anything you wanted to tell me, Claire?"

She shook her head, willing whatever to happen to do so without her futile interference.

Hope raised his voice this time. "Then explain this to me!"

His voice snapped Lightning back into her surroundings, her mind retreating back into her body. This was a new experience for her, one only his voice could make a reality. Her eyes traced the length of his arm, to his finger, and finally, where his finger lay upon the flesh of her leg she had buried her nail into earlier that day. A small red clot had formed around the tiny wound as the skin around it bore the blue and purple banners of bruising.

Hope maintained his demanding tone. "What happened? I want to know who did this to you. You can't hide something like this from me. Are you listening to me, Claire? You can't keep..."

Hope's words trailed to a halt. He had been so fixated on her thigh that only now did he notice the pain in her eyes and the tears running down her face.

Hope cupped the sides of her face in his hands as he futilely tried to plead her tears away. "No! No, please don't cry! I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be mean! Honest, Claire," He said as his own tears began to well in his eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have been more considerate. You must have had a long day, right? You don't need to talk about this now. I'll just bring you a plate with some dinner and something to drink and you can just relax and… and… I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Just please don't cry! You don't have to cry because I'm such a terrible person to you. Please, Claire. I just want to see you smile. I should know better. I really should. I promise, today on, I won't ever-"

Claire threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, silencing him. Her crying morphed into laughter she squeezed him in her arms.

"I love you so much, Hope! You're so good to me. You don't have an evil cell in your body, do you?" She squealed.

Hope transitioned much less easily, his tears replaced by confusion. "Huh? I… But I… What do you…?"

Lightning continued to hug him happily. "I did it to myself earlier today."

"Why?" He asked even more confused.

"Because I love you!"

Hope's patience had run its course. He was angry, remorseful, confused, and then angry again. He understood even less than he had before he had stolen a glance at her half naked body on the floor by the door, and he was sure by now that it wasn't entirely his doing.

Hope had nothing left to say save for one phrase. "You're being so weird right now!"

Lightning continued to chant in happy form as she stood and swung Hope around in her arms. "I love you! I love Hope! I live with Hope and I love him! It's gonna be the best Christmas ever!"

"Claire! Put me down! I'm getting dizzy!"

She didn't.

"Are you hearing me?! I'm gonna get sick!"

She wasn't. Not by a long shot. "I love you! I love you! I love you!"

"Claire!"

Claire threw him into the couch and collapsed beside him, her body hanging over the edge of the couch as she rested her head on his lap.

Hope clutched his head in between his hands. "I don't feel good…"

Lightning crawled up his chest and pressed her forehead against his cheek.

"I've got just the thing," She whispered.

Lightning pressed her lips into his cheek and held them there. He had kissed her before on her cheek a time or two, but she had never returned it nonetheless initiated one of her own. As she did so, he dropped his hands to his side and stared into the wasteland of the white wall in front of him.

"Claire?..."

She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. "How many Christmas's have you had now, Hope? I mean, how old are you now, do you know? I know being an orphan may not have lent itself to birthdays..."

Hope shook his head admittedly. "Seventeen, or... eighteen now I think. I never really celebrated anything."

"Then you should definitely have this."

"Why? You've never given me anything be-"

"Because I love you, Hope, and I know that I can now," She said with a smile.

Uncertainty rose within Hope again. "But I… Claire, I…"

The virulence of his uncertainty caught her off guard. "What's wrong? You love me too, right? You said you do… Do you no longer-"

"I'm in love with you, Claire. You know that, so please don't treat me like this. Of course, I love you, but I… I can't stop there no matter how much I try."

Claire took his face in her hands and leaned forward. Hope held his breath as her lips surrounding his lower lip and held themselves there. As she pulled away, her hands fell down the front of his shirt and rested, palms down, on his chest.

Lightning pulled his eyes towards her with her own. "I don't want you to stop. Do you understand?"

Hope stared at her in a daze. His confusion and disbelief continued to dominate his ability to understand her.

Lightning picked herself up off of the floor and stepped toward the bedroom. She paused and turned to Hope just before stepping inside.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

Hope nodded as she disappeared behind the door. As if in a trance, he picked himself up and staggered his way back to his cookware. He draped his apron over the front of his body and aimlessly continued stirring his already stirred broth. A pair of arms wrapping themselves around his waist from behind him pulled him out of his dissociation. He turned around to face her.

She released her hands from around his waist and reached into her pocket to produce an item. She held out a small package wrapped in brown paper with a plain white bow pressed into the corner. Hope timidly took it from her hands and stared down at the brown package.

Lightning smiled at his hesitation. "You can open it, you know."

Hope looked back at her, his surprise plastered across his face. "But it's not Christmas yet…"

"I know," She replied, "But it's pretty close. It's not your only gift, but I wanted to give this to you when we were alone anyway. On Christmas, that might be a little difficult…"

Hope slowly unwrapped his gift and tossed the brown paper aside. In his hands, he held what felt like a jewelry box. He opened the top and felt the stealing of his breath as he looked inside. A beautifully long, thin, black, reinforced piece of leather coiled itself around a small, crystal vial. The strip of leather was threaded through an opening in the crystal. Inside the crystal vial lay a brilliant, vibrant, viable glowing red feather. Its red glow pulsed as if fueled by a heartbeat of its own. The frills of the feather pressed themselves against the walls of the crystal vial and swept across them like the burning red waves of a warm fire seeking to bequeath its own life unto a cold, weary traveler as its own life dwindled in return.

Hope looked at the woman in disbelief as he tried to share the words that held themselves on the tip of his tongue. "It's a… a tuft of a… of a…"

"It is. It really is," Claire replied, "Or at least it looks like one. A phoenix down is just a legend so they say. I've never seen anyone use one, at least."

"How much did you spend on-"

Lightning stopped him before he could finish as she placed a finger over his lips. "Don't ask silly questions, Hope."

Hope looked back down at his gift, his eyes embracing every inch of the leather and every curve of the crystal. Lightning took the collar he wore away from his neck and unhooked his ID tag. Casting the collar aside, she threaded one end of the leather band through the tag.

While he still held his gift, Lightning turned off the burner under the pot and took Hope by the arm back to the center of the living room. She took the necklace by both ends and held it out in front of him.

"Hope, turn around for me."

He obeyed her.

Lightning brought the necklace in front of him and latched together the two clasps of each end of the metal band behind his neck before draping her arms over his shoulders and pulling his head towards her breast.

Hope lifted the gift towards his eyes with his hands. "It's so beautiful."

"So are you," Lightning whispered.

Hope turned around to face her and pressed his lips into hers as he held onto the crystal vial with his hand.

As he pulled away, Lightning called to him. "Again… please…"

He obeyed her again, and he did so each time she asked him to.


	10. Going Slow

**prince_fiend - For you my friend, absolutely. I am happy you are enjoying this story. Can't wait to find out how you think of its entirety!**

**MarbledFox - "precious"... hm... Isn't he? Thx for reading!**

**10**

**Going Slow**

Every sound of the night could be heard throughout her bedroom. In the distance, the train that passed through her neighborhood of apartments quietly soared across the tracks and away into the night. The occasional beeping of horns and screeching of tires on the dilapidated roads of Bodhum's lower class streets littered about the composition of sounds that composed a typical evening. With each passing car, the doppler of its passing could be gently heard as its headlights bathed one corner of the room and made its way to the other before silently wilting away. In its wake, others would follow at sporadic intervals only to remind again of the loneliness and solitude of its abrupt absence. To Lightning, listening to the rush of the cars, the train, and watching the lights that would follow as they permeated into her bedroom and back out again had always been the finale of her days. Laying in her bed and staring up at her ceiling in this manner always followed a glass of something dreadfully strong from the bottle she kept in the lowest drawer of her bedside nightstand and the day's last cigarette. The routine emptiness and loneliness she felt were as maddening and fearful as they were comforting and routine.

However, she had yet to have such an evening for quite some time. Her loneliness had been replaced with a presence of compassion and devotion. Her fearfulness had been replaced with joyfulness and contentedness. No longer were alcohol and cigarettes the first to greet her when she came home. A young man with a smile, a warm touch, and a listening ear were now the evening's welcome home. Lately, her evenings had been full of laughter, hot dinners, bad television, and a bundle of white hair atop a sleeping head to lay in her lap as she rested happily on her couch. When sleep finally assaulted her, she would carry him to the bedroom and place him within the sheets and blankets before draping them around him. As her own head fell upon her pillow, her arms would reach out to him and pull him close so neither the night nor her fears could take him away from her.

Despite how much happier she had become, how much warmer her heart felt in her chest, she still felt a feather of unfulfilled desire and loneliness. Something was missing. Something had always been missing. Each time he looked away, each time his welcoming embrace would abandon her, each time the words she desperately wished to say were left trapped on her tongue, and each time he fell asleep before her she would feel a brief, overwhelming sense of loss. It was a fleeting feeling, but each time it was sharp enough to distress her. Each time, a leaf was plucked from the tree she harbored within the otherwise black and tarry soul that had ruled her heart for so many years. It was a tree only he could bathe in light, only a tree he could water, and only one that he could nurture.

Tonight was different. He called to her just as she wished him to. He embraced her, held her, and caressed her without reserve. He talked to not just as a friend, but as a soulmate. He had kissed her. He had told her he wanted her. He loved her. He needed her, and he needed her to know that. Something viable occupied his own soul as well, something only she could tend to. Each time she returned his touch, his kiss, his love, something was met inside of him. His ultimate fear was satiated in those moments: the fear that she did not love him as he truly wished her to. To her, seeing the life in his eyes as she did so ratified the irrationale of her own fear: not only may he not love her, but that she wasn't able to love him as she knew he needed her to.

The dim glow of the moonlight cast itself upon Hope's face as he kept his eyes on hers. After their first shared kiss, Claire offered to truly share her bed with him for the first time. He gave her no words in return but only a quiet nod. Now, he lay on his back, beneath her, with her legs tucked into his body on each side of him. Hope clutched at the pillow above his head as she bent forward and kissed him, her hand running down the length of his arms. Her nails traced themselves underneath his arm and to his chest, eliciting a gentle gasp as they crossed the bare skin of his underarm. She stopped at his chest, her fingers toying with the tuft of a phoenix down tied around his neck. The tuft turned the pale skin of his neck just underneath his t-shirt a slight shade of red and the tips of his white bangs a faint pink like flames sweeping with the wind on a distant hill. She released her lips from his and sat back down on his lap. He had been compliant with her desires all evening, but she could still see a sliver of uncertainty in his eyes.

Her own concern grew as she kept her eyes on him. "Hope, what's wrong? Am I… I know I'm not the prettiest woman in the world. If you don't want me like this then-"

"Claire. Please stop saying that." Her words nearly set him off as if some stranger had said something unjustified about her to him.

Claire needed to know more. She wanted their first night as a couple to go better than well. "What am I doing wrong, Hope? Should I shower or-"

"Please don't," Hope replied, "I really do like how you smell."

Claire was speechless. This was the first time she heard such words, and thusly it was the first time she tried to respond to them. "You do?..."

Hope's hand traced its way up her chest and clung onto the t-shirt that hung loosely from her body before giving a response. "Yeah. You smell like you. It makes me feel good when I smell you so don't shower, please."

Claire was thankful the lack of overhead light hid her blushing cheeks. "Oh… okay then. I won't shower then if you don't want me to, but I'm all messy and I'm not wearing anything appealing and I've been sweating all day and-"

Hope sat forward and pressed his face into her shoulder to silence her. "I love you, Claire. Stop it already. You're wearing a t-shirt and panties. That's the sexiest thing to a guy, you know?"

"Really?" Claire asked, "That can't be true…"

Hope sighed. "I want you as you are right now, please don't take that away from me."

Claire pushed him back down onto the bed and kissed him again. Even in the little things, his words could bring her back to the reality of where she was. As she pulled away, her hands ran themselves underneath his shirt and gently lifted the hem up to his chest. Instead of lifting it over his head, she stopped when concerning eyes met hers once again.

Hope did his best to encourage her. "I'm okay, Claire. You can keep going."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," She replied, "Please, Hope. I don't want you to feel like you're-"

"It's okay, really. Just keep going."

Claire's hands left the hem of his shirt bundled up at the top of his chest, exposing his navel, and traced up his arms before wrapping her fingers around his hands. She could feel him try to steady the nerves in his hands as her skin fell upon his.

"You're hands are shaking, Hope. We don't have to do this. We can still be together without-"

"No! Please!" Hope begged, "I really do want this! I love you and I want to be with you. I can still be with you like this. I really do want to be with you."

Claire was beyond confused. "How? You're shaking! I don't understand you, Hope."

"I want to be with you because it's you, Claire. It not about sex or anything. This is one of the ways we can be close and I want to be close to you in every way I can. There's no one like you, and this won't be like any of the other times before. It's with you so please…"

Claire's heart stopped. "Hope, are you… are you scared right now?"

Hope shook his head side to side a little too eagerly.

Claire wasn't buying it. "Maybe we should just go back into the other room and eat dinner."

"Wait!" Hope implored her desperately, "I'm shaking because I'm just really excited. That's all it is, I promise."

Lightning loosened her grip on his hands and brought her hands to his face, her fingers tracing along his cheek. "That's all? I don't believe you. Please tell me the truth."

Hope took a moment in an attempt to relax his body underneath her. He began to focus on her touch and the warmth he felt beneath her. Her bare legs pressed against each side of his own and her bottom resting gently on his lap, he gently grasped at her t-shirt and began coiling the cloth in between his fingers. He needed time to find the right words. He'd been in this physical position before. He wanted this time to be different. He wanted how he was to be touched to be different. He wanted how he felt when it was over to be different. He knew that she was the one to make such desires a reality, but he needed the words to tell her how he felt.

"Claire, I… It's just that…" Hope trailed, failing in the pursuit of the right words.

Claire cupped the palm of her hand around the side of his face as Hope instinctively buried his cheek within her hand.

"I think I know," Claire whispered, her tone as reassuring as her touch, "You said it before, right? Being like this was always painful for you. I know exactly what it is you feel, but it doesn't have to be like that. It shouldn't be..."

Hope nodded as he covered his tearing eyes with his arm. "I know you don't want to hurt me. I really do want you, Claire, but I'm still afraid. I've never done this without being afraid. I've never done this without feeling pain…"

As she listened to his words, she could feel an insurmountable pain tearing away at her heart. Her own tears began to trickle down her face as she continued to caress his cheek in her hand. She knew that there were no words she could muster to take away the memories of his past.

Hope continued to fall deeper into his despair. "I just want to be free of this pain," He muttered through clenched teeth and flowing tears, "I just want to be able to be with you. That's all I care about, but I can't seem to-"

Hope could feel the weight of her petite frame collapse onto his own. She wrapped her arm around the back of his head as her legs coiled around his body. After the initial surprise passed, Hope's body relaxed and his breathing slowed as he wrapped his arms around her slender waist. The sound of late night traffic could be heard outside as they lay together in silence.

Claire was the first to speak. "Does this hurt?"

Hope shook his head.

"These kinds of experiences are supposed to be pleasurable and bonding. You should be with someone you want to be with. It doesn't need to hurt. You know this, right?" She asked.

Hope nodded. "If that's true, then this will be my first time so…"

Claire put her arms underneath her and lifted herself away from him.

"Me too," She whispered, "Me too, Hope…"

Hope raised himself towards her and began to kiss her along the length of her neck. He placed one hand along the side of her cheek as his other toyed with the elastic of her panties. Claire could feel a burning sensation brew within her each time his skin grazed against hers, but she understood that her 'needs' were outweighed by his own. They always would be.

Claire put her hands around his wrists and guided them back to up above his head and onto the pillow. She brought herself towards him, her face inches from his own, and pressed her lips against his slowly.

"I don't understand," Hope said as she pulled away from him for a split moment to breath, "Don't you want me to touch you? Don't you want me to make you feel-"

Claire pressed her lips against his again before speaking. "Don't worry about me, Hope. I'm not here for me tonight. I'm here for you."

With those words, she began her descent. Claire kissed his lips, then his neck, and worked her way down to his chest where she grazed her lips across each of his areolas and onto the nipple. As she did, Hope held his breath and clutched at the pillow above his head. Claire continued to trace her lips down his chest and to his navel where she blew a gentle breath into his belly button. Hope could feel himself growing beneath her as his erection pressed furiously at the panty-clad bottom that rested on his lap. As Claire shuffled herself down a few feet towards the foot of the bed, her t-shirt rolled up over her breasts with his arousal now pressing itself against the soft skin of her abdomen. Claire continued to kiss him down along his lower abdomen and onto the band of his contorted boxers. As she slipped a finger under the elastic and pulled slowly towards his legs with Hope writhing beneath her and twisting inside of her legs. His stalk now completely exposed, she carefully wrapped her hand around him. Hope gasped as her skin met his and arched his body into the air.

"I'm going to go slow, okay?" She whispered reassuringly.

Hope nodded silently as he buried his fingernails into the pillow.

She formed a gentle grip around him and began to move her wrist ever so slightly back and forth. Hope immediately sat up and threw his arms around her neck. He squeezed her with all of his might as she paused. Once he had settled himself into his new position, his arms wrapped around her and his head buried into her shoulder, she continued to gently rock her wrist back and forth. As she did, she could feel his hot, shallow breathing quicken against the skin of her neck.

They remained like this for several passing moments, her wrist guiding her hand gently around him as he clung to her body like a nearly drowning child clinging to a rescue tube amidst an ocean of betrayal and uncertainty. Eventually, Claire could feel his hands matching the force of his tightening arms, his nails burying themselves into the skin of her back as he throbbed harder within her fingers.

Hope tried to warn her. "Claire, you have to stop! I can't… I can't… please!"

Claire could feel a heat coating her body. Hope nearly choked her, tightening his arms around her as he released himself onto her body, into the sheets, and into her hand. His body writhed around her as his hips gently bucked involuntarily into hers. When he was finished, he took a much-needed breath before loosening his arms from around her neck. As he did, his nails popped themselves out of the boroughs of skin they had made for themselves. He collapsed backward onto the bed and resided to making gasping and swallowing sounds before attempting to speak in between his erratic panting. Hope stretched his arms out into the air, searching for her much needed presence.

"Claire… please… need you…"

Claire eased herself down to him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her once again.

"I… I… love… you…"

"I love you too," She replied.

They stayed that way for several minutes before Hope nearly jumped out of the bed. Claire could feel him pushing against her.

"Claire! Get up, please!"

"What happened?!" Claire exclaimed as she rolled off of him.

Hope sat up and looked frantically around the dark room before looking at her. "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done that! I soiled your body and your sheets and your clothes and I scratched you and-"

"Hope! Calm down!" Claire replied as she tried to catch his wildly waving hands with her own.

"But I-"

Claire kissed him again. This time, she did so with more force than she had before. There was a secondary purpose to this kiss that the previous kisses did not share. She kept her lips against his as he finally stopped trying to speak and flail his arms. Eventually, he matched her and allowed her tongue to graze against his. Her initial attempt to silence him had evolved into something more passionate as her arms wrapped themselves around his waist and tucked his body into hers. Finally, he was calm again.

"I'm sorry," He whispered.

Claire caressed her fingers against his back as she spoke. "It's okay. That's what supposed to happen. Are you okay?"

Hope nodded.

"Did it hurt?"

Hope shook his head.

"Good. That was a lot. Sometimes a lot can hurt a little bit when it happens all at once." She said as she kissed his forehead, "You… you aren't masturbating on your own, are you?"

Hope shook his head again. "Do you want me to?"

"Not if you want me to do it for you," She replied.

"But what about your sheets? Your clothes? I ruined them with my-"

"Hope, if it's from you, then they are not ruined."

"How can you say that?" He asked in disbelief.

"Cuz it's yours on my clothes and in my bed… It makes me…"

Hope waited for her answer in anticipation.

"It makes me happy," She finished, grateful the darkness of the night hid the embarrassment in her face, "I… maybe like it… and maybe don't wash them yet, okay?"

Hope did his best to not voice his bewilderment. "You… you can't be serious…"

"Maybe next time you could, you know… into my panties and then I could wear them when I-"

"Are you kidding me?!" Hope exclaimed as he sat up.

Claire sat up with him. "What's wrong?"

"You're saying some outrageous things! If we don't wash these, then the smell will settle further into the sheets and your clothes," He tried to explain.

Claire did her best to hide her face with her hands. "I know that… So don't wash them… please…"

Hope stared at her in disbelief. "What about what you said about your panties? What if someone smells it on you?!"

Claire took the pillow by her head and placed in her her lap before pressing her face into it.

"Then they'll know who I belong to…" Came her muffled voice.

Hope paused. He was completely thrown back by her last words. To him, she sounded as though she wanted the world to know who she truly belonged to, who held the key to her soul and carried her heart in their hands. He cherished the idea but struggled with her desired method. Of course, he wanted to say no, but knowing now the truth behind her words told him it would break her heart if he rejected her.

"Claire… Look, let's just try to-"

*Bzzzt* *Bzzzt* *Bzzzt* *Bzzzt*

They both looked over to the bedside table at her phone. The screen held a blindingly bright image of a shaking desk phone with the word 'Fang' draped across the top of the screen. Lightning reached for the phone and brought it to her ear.

"Don't you have any idea what time it is?!" Lightning began, "Wait, slow down. Start over. What happened?"

Hope stared at her as he tried to guess Fang's words. Lightning's once angry face morphed into wide-eyed anticipation and surprise. The call was over quite quickly as she placed the phone back on the bedside table and flew over to her dresser in search of clean clothes. She threw on a fresh shirt, jeans, and grabbed her coat and side arm before reaching past Hope to grab her phone.

Hope was now desperate for answers. "What did she say?"

Lightning raced out of the bedroom and towards the front door where she wrestled her boots onto her feet. Hope followed her, stealing a bedsheet to cover his body.

"She said she might have found her," Lightning said as she opened the front door.

"Who? Vanille?" Hope asked.

Lightning stepped out the door, paused and turned to his bed sheet-covered body.

"I'll be back," She said before pecking him on the cheek with her lips, "I love you."

"I love you too, Ligh-"

The door had closed before he could finish. He stood where he was, staring at the closed door as the sheets fell from his body and onto the floor.


	11. A Good Night's Sleep is Worth More than Gold

**Prince_fiend - Changes are a coming. Spot on! I have much more ready it just needs to be edited. It won't disappoint. (:**

**Opheline - When I read your reviews I can't help but feel the same way you do. We share so much about how we feel about this fandom. I wish I had a friend like you to share more of this with. Hope you are well!**

**11**

**A Good Night's Rest is Worth More than Gold**

Hope had found himself back in bed after Lightning departed. The night earlier was as physically exhausting as it was emotionally exhausting. Each moment was as heart pounding and liberating as the one before it, and although it pained him to see her leave, he found much-needed rest in their bed now that she was gone.

The night was full of firsts for the young man as well as for his older partner. It was the first night he was caressed and touched with such dignity and attention to his own needs. For the first time, he felt loved and cherished in the embrace of the person who shared his bed. He felt desire and longing with each touch while lacking the dissonance between his biological climax and psychosocial involvement with his partner that had accompanied many sleepless nights before the Savior. And for the first time, he crawled into her side of the bed and tucked himself inside her sheets and pillows. Her smell and warmth enveloped him as a soft smile crept across his face. The only conflict he felt now was from his desire to sleep and his desire to stay awake and relish in this new sensation.

As the evening continued to move forward, sleep overtook him. Every hour or so, Hope would stir in his slumber, alert only to the movement of the door and sounds outside their apartment. In these brief moments, he glanced at the door of the bedroom in anticipation that she would return to him. His dreams were full of such an event. Lightning would slump through the bedroom door like she had many times before. Weary from a middle-of-the-night assignment, the pink-haired woman would peel herself out of her coat, the metal shoulder plate making a soft thud against their thin, poor quality carpet. Kicking the bedroom door shut with the heel of her foot was usually followed with her collapsing onto her side of the bed face-first into her pillow. Whether it be midnight or four in the morning, Hope always pulled himself up from the mattress and wrung the heels of his hands down the length of her neck and back. As he did, Lightning moaned heavily into the pillow before her as she squirmed her way out of her boots to let them fall to the floor at the edge of the bed. After several minutes of his attention, Hope would pull the blanket over her and then snuggle his way under her arm at her side before falling back asleep. Her lack of response or movement was always interpreted as her lack of consciousness by him, but while her lack of energy prevented as such, she would force herself to wait until she could feel him against her before allowing herself slumber. Despite the wordless silence of their middle of the night exchange, both of them needed it as much as they needed the air they breathed. Because of each other, what used to be such a harrowing time of day for the both of them had become a source of solitude and joy.

Hope awoke again, his eyes directed towards the door. This time, his ears did not betray him. The faint pattering of boot-clad footsteps approached the other side of the door. The door handle turned slowly, creaking deafeningly through the night's silence. As the door slowly opened, Hope's tired eyes were blinded by the light of the room beyond it. He pulled the sheet over his head and waited for the door to be kicked closed. As the light slowly faded, he peeled out of from under the sheet to see the familiar Guardian Corps shoulder plate on the floor glisten in the light from the door crack before being swallowed by inevitable darkness. Hope's heart filled in anticipation as the weight of the bed shifted. Hope pulled himself up from his place beside her and searched for her in the dark with his outstretched hands. Once he found her, he carefully pulled her undershirt up the length of her torso and wrung the heels of his hands down her slender back. This time, she did not moan. Her hands sought the pillow in front of her and clung tightly to it as she followed the direction of his hands with her hips. It was unlike her to be out of routine in any fashion, but he paid no heed to it until she took his hand in hers before rolling over onto her back and placing his hand gently on her navel.

Hope paused. For the first time, she made a motion to keep him from touching her when he tried to massage her. Hope thought it best to retreat to his side of the bed and let her sleep, considering the night of intimacy they had shared before her departure and began to withdraw his hand as he shifted his weight back to his side of the bed. As he did, he felt resistance around his wrist and a semi-conscious disgruntling from beside him. Did she not want him to go? Why keep her hand around his wrist if she did not want him to touch her? Hope carefully positioned himself at her side once again and pressed his hand against her skin. An audibly deep breath came from the woman beside him as his hand traced up and down against her.

 _Perhaps I thought wrong,_ Hope thought to himself, _Perhaps it's more, not less…_

"I'm finally with you again," Came a soft whisper.

Her hands crawled up the length of his arm as she pulled him close and wrapped her legs around his forearm. Hope was trapped, his arm tucked in between her legs and his face pressing into the skin around her belly button. He could feel her pulling her shirt down from up around her chest and over his head as she squirmed amidst their bed. Excitement was the first feeling that overtook him. As tired as he was, he was young and his endless supply of hormones and desire could easily overcome simple fatigue. His lips brushed slowly against her skin towards her legs as his hair sheared against the fabric of her shirt. Her legs squeezed tighter around his forearm as he crept closer and closer to his target.

Her silent squirming and tightening pushed him further and further as his breath fell hot on one patch of skin to the next. Finally, he felt his cheek brush against the elastic band of her undergarment. His lip toyed with the wavy frills of the elastic as her breath, and his, quickened in depth and intensity. At this moment, Hope came to three very important realizations:

_1\. Lightning's undergarments were usually of a much simpler design._

Hope had seen her panties multiple times, both on and off of her. The first time was an embarrassing event for the both of them. Early in their cohabitation, Hope kept mostly to the bedroom while Lightning slept on the couch, and occasionally visa-versa. On this day, Lightning awoke from the couch, stripped herself down to her panties and an unclipped bra, and barged into the bedroom while Hope was changing. It had taken her several moments to remember that there was someone else living with her now. In utter disbelief, he stopped, his hands partly reaching for his pants on the floor as he stared. He stared hard. Lightning stared back, her face as red as hot iron. Hope stammered and fell behind the far edge of the bed as he tried his best to cover himself... all of him. Lightning coldly turned away from him, gathered her things, and left the room without even a hint of acknowledgment of his presence. She had been naked before in front of others. The Guardian Corps barracks during her training days were filled with efficiency in exchange for modesty during her daily routines. However, he was different. He had been since she first saw him, and that unsettled her.

After a few days had past and the two had become more accustomed to each other, Hope began to assume some of the daily house duties. One such duty was laundry, and by Etro, the Soldier went through a ton of bloody laundry. Hope began to get creative in his attempts to keep her clothing clean. Dirt, grime, oil, and even blood were a never-ending occurrence. When he first began to do laundry, he noticed the calcified stains of blood in both her uniforms and her underclothes. Hot anger consumed him in those moments until he assured himself they were simply the product of her line of work and not of the same reality his imagination made him endure during the long stretches of her absence when she was at _work_... he hoped. He hated the idea that someone else took her attention.

Hope found that smelling her clothes could best help him determine what the stain may be. Oils, dirt, and especially blood needed to be treated differently. Hope began with the bigger garments: coats, pants, and the like. Smelling her clothes was an easy feat until he came upon her undergarments. The first time he smelled her panties, an incredible sense of conflict and unease consumed him. He tried to get away with forgoing such an act, but her underclothes were never as clean as the rest of her clothing. One morning, when Lightning was home for the day, she found him face first in her panties.

"Everything okay?" She asked him.

Startled, Hope turned to her and stammered while trying to hide what was in his hands behind his back. "I'm just tr-tr-trying to do the laundry, Miss Lightning."

"I see that," She replied, her arms crossed in front of her as she tried to hide her smile, "Are you having difficulty?"

"No, Miss Lightning…"

Lightning stepped towards him and pointed to his waist. "What do you have in your hand, Hope?"

Hope was frozen in terror.

"Show me. I don't want to ask you again," She whispered as she presented her hand forward.

Hope's shaking hand crawled out from behind him, his fingers slowly unfurling over hers. The contents dropped from his hands to hers even slower.

"Hmmm…" Lightning toyed with the panties in her hand and pressed it against her nose before taking a deep breath. "Smells like… you should put them with the other whites and add a little bleach."

Hope stopped shaking and looked up at her. "I… I don't understand…"

"Serah used to do my laundry when we were younger," She explained, "But… you do it better."

Hope smiled ear to ear. "Thank you, Miss Lightning."

"However, Hope," She began as she placed her panties back in his hand and closed his fingers around it before placing her lips behind his ear, "If you need to smell them that badly, you can just hang onto these…"

Hope broke free of her and shoved her back onto the couch. "You're not funny, you know that?!"

Lightning clutched at her sides as she fell from the edge of the couch. "The look on your face! Dear Etro, the look on your face!"

Hope charged into the bedroom and slammed the door. Lightning's teasing was the first time she had engaged the young man without coldness or passive resentment. After several minutes of laughter, Lightning finally peeled herself up off of the floor and tried to coax him from out of the bedroom for the rest of the morning. It was nearly lunch time when he finally emerged. Serah and Snow arrived a few minutes later to have lunch with the two. Later that evening when Lightning went to collect her laundry from him, she noticed that one of her undergarment sets was lacking. One bra was missing one its corresponding panty. Considering that all of her bras and panties were of the same color and design (white and utterly no design), it was of little service to her to devote any energy to it. At least, that's what she told herself when she stole a glance at him.

_2\. Lightning didn't usually smell this good. Especially in bed._

Lightning had accepted a long time ago that the effort she put in her appearance and social presence was not going to be the same as other women her age. Despite Serah's pleadings to wear nicer clothes, apply a little foundation and shade (whatever the hell that was supposed to mean), use something that smelled nice, and "put herself out there a little at least", Lightning resided to her sweaty, grimy, rugged appearance and odor that came day in and day out with the job.

However, the introduction of Hope in her life gradually fed into her previously non-existent self-consciousness. Hope understood her smell well, especially her more private and… delicate smells. When Hope was silently doing laundry, Lightning glanced at him while watching tv. Grateful at the time that he was making himself more useful instead of annoying her with his thoughtfulness and desire to appease her, Lightning wondered why he still felt the need to be by her side no matter how cold she had been to him during the first few days he was in her home. When he raised her coat to his nose and inhaled, he winced away from it. For the first time, Lightning became self-conscious about her own smell. She pondered it as she stared into her beer, sifting it slowly from side to side in her hand. Her eyes traced from her hand to her body and down the length of her unkempt legs. Her tattered undershirt and however-many-days-old panties that hung loosely on her, the only clothes she wore to drink beer on the couch, further drove home her newly found self-awareness. Fortunately for her, she hadn't known that he was considering smelling her underclothes.

"I'm going into the bedroom to get more clothes," Lightning said as she stood from the television, "Finish up what you're doing and go rest. It's late."

Hope did his best to hide his painful expression. "I'm very sorry. I will be quicker. I'll do better, I promise."

She looked at him as he fervently scrubbed the clothes. Hope had been up for a while now. He had even made breakfast. It wasn't a great one, but it was better than anything she would have bothered to make. On this rare day off, she witnessed him scurry about with daily chores, chores she had never realized that they ever needed to be done until she witnessed him do them. When he could, he tended to her. He offered her food, offered to massage her back when she guarded her neck in pain, and stood at her side at the edge of the couch in case she could think of anything for him to do.

Lightning emerged from out of the bedroom in sweatpants and approached him. She bit her lip as she awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hope, you can stop. I don't need you to try that hard for me. You're not here because you want to be, I know that. I'll get a used washer or dryer or something."

Hope's arms fell to his sides as his shoulders slumped forward.

"Here. Take this," She continued as she held out a handful of gil, "Just go get something to eat and drink and then go get some rest."

Hope stood and softly took the money from her hand. "Is there anything you need me to get you?"

"Hope, I told you that when it comes to me you don't have to… um… actually, maybe some… um… unscented deodorant and a comb… please…" She mumbled into her shoulder.

"You don't have to go out of your way for me, Miss Lightning. I don't mind the way you look… and smell…" Hope whispered as he wrung his hands behind him.

That was the last she let him speak of it.

Lastly, Hope was very aware of how she was supposed to smell in and around her underclothes, and the woman in his bed with him did not share that smell.

Although it wasn't until very, very recently that Hope and Lightning had become physically intimate with each other, Hope had been well familiar of her more intimate smell. Earlier that night had been their first real exchange of that nature, but they had slept in the same bed every night since she brought him home from the hospital. That night, Hope learned that Lightning was a very busy sleeper. Although she kept him nuzzled in her arms as she fell asleep, Lightning routinely climbed on top of him, around him, squeezed herself beneath him, and tucked his various limbs (including his head) in between her legs like a pillow when she was asleep. Most nights he slept peacefully, but some nights… not so much. Her before-bed kisses on his cheek and warm, soft skin did little to make up for those painfully stiff mornings. Still, it was a sacrifice he was happily willing to make to be by her side.

_3\. Lightning usually displayed a lower level of engagement when he touched her in bed, much lower._

Hope loved it when she would let him massage her back. Since her assault of him on the couch many nights ago, Lightning was very guarded when it came to his attempts to make any physical contact with her. He understood how much she regretted what she had done, and he did his best to assure her he still needed her and her touch. However, despite how much she needed him too, it took her time to allow herself a respite from his absent touch. When she brought him home from the hospital, she embraced him in her bed with a kiss on his cheek without any hint of desire. With each passing night, he became bolder and bolder. He began to return her kisses on his cheek with attempts to her shoulder and lips. She would always put a hand on his mouth to guide him away from her until he gave up and settled back into his place at her bedside. When his hands explored her body late at night, she took them by the wrists returned them to his side.

"Just get some rest, Hope," She would always say, "That's not what you need right now."

But she loved him. She needed him, and she really, really wanted him. When she would come home from a late night assignment, she would pause at the threshold of their closed bedroom door and collapse to the ground. Lack of sleep made her more uninhibited, and a sleeping Hope would make an easy target. Releasing her utility belt from her waist, Lightning's hand crept beneath her waistband and underneath her panties. Succumbing to her desire, Lightning would spend several minutes bringing herself to the inevitable as she writhed on the hard floor. When the moment finally came, she pressed her hand against her throat as she screamed silently into the night until the last wave of relief left her, her lips mouthing his name over and over.

Exhausted and in pain, she opened the bedroom door and collapsed onto the bed. Her physical urges temporarily satiated, she could let him touch her without fear that she would hurt him again. His hands were like the healing waters of a Sunleth hot spring against her aching body as she moaned into her pillow. Hope understood that these were really the only moments that she would let him put his skin on her own, and she never denied him those moments. The fact that tonight, she refused his massage and guided him with her desires was very abnormal.

All of these things led Hope's quick mind to a singular conclusion.

_This isn't Lightning._

Hope yanked himself away from the woman beside him and scrambled for the switch on the bedside lamp. Startled, his bedmate pulled herself up from the bed and stared at him. The light of the lamp displayed not the usual pink-haired, more defined visage of the older woman who usually slept beside him. The girl before him was no older than he by half a decade and had red hair and a softer face.

Hope raised a pointed finger while thrusting his hand down into his groin, "Yo-you're not Lightning!"

The girl shared his startled expression as she tried to hide herself with her hands, "A-And you're not Fang…"


	12. Not So Different

**12**

**Not So Different**

The morning had been a blurry haze for Hope. When Lightning left him after her mysterious cell phone call last night, he scuttled some clothes from the floor for his uncovered body and climbed back into bed, exhausted. Who he thought was Lightning in his bed later on that night, or early that morning rather, was not. Now, he and three others sat in silence in their humble living area outside their bedroom door. He and the mysterious girl sat on their knees at the edge of the coffee table. Hope squirmed nervously as the girl beside him looked straight ahead calmly. Across from Hope and the unknown girl sat Lightning and Fang on the couch with the coffee table between the two pairs. Fang struggled to compose herself, her face buried in her hands as she desperately tried to muffle her giggling. Lightning, on the other hand, looked towards the front door, away from the others with teeth clenched with an angry expression on her face. After several moments of unbearable silence, Hope spoke first.

"Light, I'm really sorry!" He pleaded, "I don't know what's going on, really. I thought she was you! Who else would sleep in that bed!"

Lightning continued to look away from him, her cold shoulder sending shivers down the young man's spine.

When Lightning, Fang, and their new companion had arrived back at the Soldier's apartment in the early hours that morning, Lightning assumed Hope would have still been awake when she came home as he often did when she left on an assignment. Hope's heavy heart burned in his chest during her late night absences. The thought of her never coming home kept him up at night, something he had voiced to her many times before. However, the activities prior to her departure had made him too tired to stay awake, something she had failed to consider.

"I already told you, Hope," Lightning began, hissing through her teeth as the words left her lips, "I thought you had left the apartment to get breakfast when you weren't home to greet us."

"I still don't understand. I get that part, but what is she doing in our- I mean your bed?" Hope asked, stuttering at his correction. He tried to play the part of modesty, but the new guest already well understood what he did in that bed and with whom.

"We thought you were gone, so Lightning offered to let her sleep in the bed," Fang explained. She took a deep breath and placed a hand on the pink-haired woman's shoulder. "Why don't you take a moment to cool off. I'll fill him in. All right, Lightning?"

 _Tsk!_ Lightning's tongue and teeth clicked together. Hope reached out to touch her shoulder the same as Fang, but Lightning stood and turned away from him when he did, leaving him even more forlorn. Lightning left the other three with the simple, brusk remark and headed into the bedroom before firmly closing the door.

"Vanille, could you make us some tea as I tell Hope what's happening here?" Fang asked the red-haired girl.

The girl smiled, nodded, and stood to make her way towards the small, make-shift kitchen and turned on the burner.

"Don't look so glum, love" Fang said as she looked at the depressed boy, "She's angry because she's jealous, and she get's jealous over you so… you know… that's a good thing, maybe."

Hope slumped over the table and sighed. "If you say so, Fang. Just tell me what's going on."

* * *

Three Hours Ago

The midnight call from Fang had Lightning on her toes. As much as she hated to have left Hope alone the way she did, especially the way the night was going, Fang ensured her she had the lead of a lifetime and Lightning could not miss this chance. Fang's message was brief but to the point. Lightning did exactly as Fang instructed her, and was exactly where Fang told her to be: some dark, backstreet alley in the slums of Bodhum. Fantastic.

Lightning glanced around in the dark, careful not to trigger any light sensors from the buildings around her or use her flashlight, as Fang instructed. Lightning continued down the alley on foot, slowly, before sighting what looked like Fang's PSICOM cruiser. Lightning retrieved a penlight from her back pocket and flashed it once at the front windshield.

Nothing.

Lightning flashed it twice more, this time her free hand wrapping firmly around her sidearm. Her heart racing, Lightning withdrew her pistol from its position at her hip and flashed the penlight again. The lack of response unnerved her as she feared the worst for her only PSICOM friend.

Finally, three faint flashes of light broke through the darkness.

Lightning let go her held breath and replaced her pistol into its holster as she approached the passenger door. She grasped the handle, opened it, and took her seat before gently closing the door behind her.

"What the Fuck, Fang?!" Lightning hoarsely whispered, "You told me to flash the damn pen light one time! Not three fuckin times! I thought someone got the better of you before I got here!"

"I'm sorry, Light," Fang replied, "I fell asleep waiting for you. The first couple of blinks woke me up."

"For fuck's sake, Fang. You scared the shit out of me." Lighting let out a half grunt, half sigh as she tried to slow her breathing and her heart rate. "So, what's this big lead that you gotta drag me out here to the shitstorm part of town in the middle of the night?"

"I think I've found her," Fang replied.

"Who?" Lightning's ears perked. She had a good idea but needed to hear it from her friend.

"You know who. Vanille." Fang's words were jagged and labored, her nerves and anxiety obvious. "One of my CIs said he spotted someone that looked like her start scoping out the building across from us for about a few days now. Before that, a bunch of people went into the building and never came out. Some of those people were wearing what looked like PSICOM gear. One of them looked like a PSICOM officer."

Lightning's focus narrowed in onto the faint silhouette of the building in front of her. "Holy shit, really? That building in front of us?" Lightning asked, her finger pointed out in front of her.

Fang nodded fervently. "They're probably doing God knows what to her. I wanna get in there right now and just-"

Lightning waved a hand in front of Fang's face. "Calm down, Fang. We gotta call this one in. It sounds like more than a two-person job."

"Can't do that," Fang replied, "We don't know who PSICOM and Nabaat control both in the SS and in the GC. We gotta do this alone. We can't risk what could happen otherwise."

"And Snow?"

"Couldn't reach him."

"I see."

Lightning and Fang remained silent for several moments with only the sound and heat of their breath to fog up the glass in front of them.

Lightning pulled her pistol from her side and removed the magazine from the magazine well before replacing it. "I got two more magazines, and that's it."

"Same," Fang replied as she tapped her own hip before reaching behind her into the back seat to retrieve two radios. "I'll take the front door from the side we are facing, you go around back. When you give me the signal on the radio, we both go for it."

Lightning took one of the radios and pressed the button on the side producing a soft beep from both of the units. "Radios are a go. That's your plan, huh?"

"It is."

"I'm not trying to die tonight, Fang. No heroics from me. We get in, we make a presence, make them think there's more of us than just two, cuff as many as we have to if they get in our way and get the girl and get out. Got it?"

"There are some PlastiCuffs in the glove box in front of you. Take a handful if you need em," Fang replied as she produced her pistol from her side and placed a hand on the car door release.

Lightning stuffed her pockets and pulled gently on the passenger door release before stepping out of the vehicle. As Fang did the same, Lightning took a deep breath, raised her weapon to eye level, and began her approach to the left side of the building while Fang followed behind her, her attention to the building's right.

Twenty or so meters later, Lightning and Fang emerged from the alley and split apart. Fang immediately went to cover the building's front door as Lighting rounded the left corner and out of sight. When she did, she saw what appeared to the outline of a person disappear around the corner of the rear of the building. She picked up her pace and trained her weapon forward. If they aware of their presence, she was going to have to act fast.

As she rounded the final corner of the building to emerge at the rear door, Lightning stopped. A passive drizzle pecked at her cheeks from above and the distant sound of thunder echoed through the city streets. Lightning carefully placed her weapon onto the ground as the sensation of cold steel pressed into her temple.

"Who are you?" Came a whispered voice.

"Shoot me and find out," Lightning replied. Her detainer's attempt to remain quiet and unnoticed gave her a degree of assurance in this unexpected situation.

"I'm going to lead you away from here. I don't want to shoot you, but you will do as I say otherwise. Got it?" The voice was obviously female. It was soft, but a had a sense of command. She sounded younger than Lightning as well.

Lightning was led away from the building and down an alley opposite from the one she came in. After nearly a minute and a half of walking, they stopped in front of an unmarked door.

"Knock on it four times," The girl ordered.

Lightning did as she was told and the door opened. Lightning's eyes rejected the immediate light after having been in the dark for the better part of the night. Blindness overtook her as she was led inside and told to sit on the ground.

The blurry image of her captor approaching her from the front slowly came into view as Lightning began to discern border and colour. "You still haven't answered my question."

"You start. If you're gonna shoot me, I get that much at the very least," Lightning chided as the girl in front of her played with the badge that hung across Lightning's breast.

"Okay, Soldier. My name is V. I'm a Soldier myself on assignment. I don't know what you and your friend were up to, but it nearly ruined a year long operation. We'll see if your story checks out from your friend when she gets here. Someone should be bringing her here any moment."

"You don't look like a Soldier," Lightning replied, her vision regained. Lightning's gaze began at the girl's feet. Her ragged sweat clothes and unkempt appearance did little to earn Lightning's trust.

"That's the point, Officer Farron," The girl replied, smiling, "Wouldn't do me much good to go in there telling them I'm a cop. I don't imagine they'd warm up to me."

"They?" Lightning inquired as she stood from the ground. The girl wasn't alone in this abandoned building as tables with computer equipment and weapons were manned by individuals of similar appearance.

 _Looks like Fang's lead on that building was right._ Lightning thought.

"Vanille?" Came a voice from the opposite end of their floor of the building. "Vanille! Is that you?!"

The girl turned to face the blatantly loud woman. "Heya, Fang."

Fang ran to the girl and threw herself around her. "Where have you been?! I've been looking for you for so long!"

"Good to see you too Fang," Vanille replied as she returned her embrace, "You gotta quiet down, though. We are about to gear up for a run at some dirty PSICOM."

"What does that mean?" Fang asked as she glanced around the building. Her antics were drawing quite a few stares.

"She says she's a GC Soldier," Lightning chimed, "Apparently, we were interrupting their op."

Fang looked back at Vanille in disbelief. "Are you serious?! We can help you! You know who's in that building right now?!"

Vanille nodded. "I know all about it. I just didn't think you would have an informant around here. Sorry, Fang, but you and Lightning are active officers in your respective departments. We can't make whoever is in there think you two are involved. And, I'm sorry I never told you where I was. I couldn't risk ruining the cover I had until this was over."

"And when will that be?" Lightning asked.

"If tonight goes well, before sunrise," Vanille replied, "As you probably guessed already, a PSICOM officer has been using the building in question to run some slave dealings. No one has come out in the past 24 hours, only people going in. No one else has gone in for a while, so it looks like whatever is happening is happening now. We need to go in there before it's too late."

Fang crossed her arms in front of her and joined Lightning's side. "What should the two of us do then?"

* * *

"So you are Vanille?" Hope asked as the girl brought back some cups and a pot of tea to the coffee table.

"I certainly am!" Vanille replaced herself at Fang's side after placing the tea down in front of Hope and wrapped her arms around Fang's waist.

"So what did you have Fang and Light do?" Hope sipped his tea as he awaited an answer.

"I told them to wait back at the Bodhum's 13th precinct. Once we finished making our arrests, we brought them back to the 13th for processing."

"I see." Hope sipped at his tea again in an attempt to avert his gaze away from the two in front of him. Vanille had plastered herself around Fang, nuzzling her ear with her nose as Fang tried to sip her tea in peace."

"Vanille, not here. The boy is right in front of us for Etro's sake," Fang pleaded.

"I really missed you, Fang." Vanille's motions ceased as she hung onto the slightly older woman, smiling ear to ear.

Fang sighed. "I think some of Lightning's reservedness and sense of modesty has rubbed off on me."

Hope nervously stood from the table. "Oh! I mean, um… well, if you two need some privacy, I can go into the bedroom…" He had heard Fang talk about Vanille before, but it had never occurred to him their relationship mirrored more of his and Lightning's.

"Sorry, Hope," Vanille said, "Did you… not know about us?"

"Um… not really. Makes what happened in the bedroom earlier even more awkward, huh?" Hope forced a tired laugh as he tried to play down his situation.

Vanille erupted in girlish giggling. "He is a cute one, isn't he, Fang? I can see why Miss Farron looks at him the way she does."

Hope's face only turned redder.

"Quit teasing him, Vanille," Fang ordered, "Hope, go see if Lightning is all right. Vanille and I need to talk."

Hope nodded and disappeared behind the bedroom door. Once he did, Fang guided Vanille away from her. Gripping Vanille's hands within her own, she met her eyes with newfound focus. "Vanille, You disappeared from me for so long. I thought Nabaat had taken you away from me."

Vanille's posture softened, and she gently kissed Fang on her cheek. "After you purchased me, I knew it was only a matter of time till Nabaat would retaliate. I left for the Guardian Corps so I could become stronger when that day came. I'm sorry for not telling you. I know you must have so many questions, and you must be going through a whirlwind of emotions right now."

Fang nodded. Vanille was right about Nabaat and she knew it. At the time, Fang was a fresh SS officer and had no connections or network. She relied too much on the PSICOM chain of command and it was only a matter of time until she would lose Vanille again. Only this time, she could not buy her freedom again. "I know Vanille, I was just so scared all this time. I thought I would never see you again."

Vanille embraced Fang once more as the two of them sank back into the couch. "I'm here, now, and I don't plan on going anywhere."

* * *

Hope stood inside the dark bedroom and outside the bathroom door. Lightning had retreated to the bathroom when she disappeared into the bedroom and had remained in there since. Hope did his best to apologize once again, but his concern only grew when she gave no reply.

"Light, are you alright?" Hope's apprehension was evident in his voice.

The door swung open, revealing a less but still noticeably angry Lightning. "Give it a rest, Hope. I'm fine."

"Why are you talking to me like this?" Hope demanded. This wasn't like her, even when she was _upset_ with him: a rare occurrence.

Lightning shook her head in disapproval. "Don't look so annoyed, Hope. Like this is anyone's fault but yours."

Hope became infuriatingly angry in a matter of moments. _How dare she?!_ He thought. It wasn't his idea to have this girl in his bed! How was he supposed to know it was anyone but Lightning? No warning, no nothing, and this is how she treats him: like some man whore.

Hope steamed, fists clenched at his sides. "That's bullshit and you know it. And why shouldn't I be annoyed? I didn't ask for this! Speaking of annoying things _you_ do, Lightning, why don't we talk about all those late nights you come home. I stay up just to see you, and you dismiss me to bed so you can watch those late night soaps on TV instead of coming straight to bed. You come home in the wee hours of the night only to finally get in bed just before I'm about to get up to make you breakfast."

"That's what annoys you?" Lightning replied, "There's maybe a good reason for why I need some alone time when I get home, did you ever think of that?"

Hope's arms crossed in front of him. "Is there a good reason for the mound of tissues strewn about in the morning after you watch TV as well?!"

"That's because I'm not watching late night soaps on TV when I get home! Sometimes I get home and I need to relieve some stress!" Lightning clutched at the hem of her skirt as the words left her mouth.

Hope's eyes tracked the motion of her hand, toying with her skirt, and immediately understood her. "Oh… Is that why the tissues and the noises…?"

Lighting nodded, her face half angry and half embarrassed.

"But why so many tissues? How many times do you do it? You know, instead, if you come to bed, then I could help you…" Hope's hands found themselves around her forearms, gently caressing them up and down. "Why so many times?"

"It takes more effort on my own to feel as satisfied as when I'm with you. I don't want to make you get any less sleep than you already are." Lightning's response was muffled, but sincerity hung on her words as her expression softened. "You really did think that was me in bed earlier, didn't you?"

Hope's body relaxed. "Well, I thought that last night may have been the night you decided to come to bed instead." Hope took her by the hands and guided her to the bed, gently pushing her down against the sheets. "Let's both go to bed, okay?"

Lightning nodded, and relaxed, allowing herself to sink into the bed. "I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I was jealous. I guess I thought you were cheating on me. I'll be more trusting in the future and make a better effort to not put you in situations where… what are you doing?"

Hope knelt at the edge of the bed where he had pushed her back into the sheets and traced his lips up her bare leg and under her skirt as he unclasped the bindings from her boots. "If you need me to help you relieve some stress so you can fall asleep, then that's what I'll do."

Lightning tried to protest, but her lungs were robbed of any breath as his lips and the tips of his fingers attacked her. Lightning writhed in bed, her legs wrapping themselves around his shoulders as she managed one last phrase. "Wait... Tissues… you need... to get tissues…"

* * *

Lightning jolted awake, her pillow drenched with sweat. Several seconds past before she oriented herself to her surroundings. She was back in her own bed, her two house guests asleep on her couch just outside her bedroom door. The faint glow of a freshly peaking sunrise began to cast its light through her window. She looked to her side to make sure he was there and that he was alright. Beside her sprawled the silver-haired young man, sleeping intently into the early morning. Memories of his…'selflessness' earlier that late night/early morning flooded her mind. Remembering his touch, his warmth, his soothing voice relaxed her and prompted her to lay back down.

What had happened after she had returned to the precinct, at the request of Vanille, had haunted her. Once Vanille and her crew had processed their arrests, Fang and Vanille left to go talk in the break room, out of sight of any prying eyes and ears. Curious as to who the PSICOM officer arrested could have been, Lightning left the main floor and took an elevator upstairs to holding. She knew she should have just gone home, doing this was against her better judgment and Vanille's wishes, but she was already well involved. '50,000 gil and neck deep into an unspeakable relationship' involved.

Lightning continued down the hallway of the holding floor, cell after cell passing by. Their inhabitants were mostly PSICOM SS and their grunts from Vanille's haul that night. Lightning was nearly at the end of the hallway, no PSICOM officer in sight yet.

"Well, hello there, confidant."

Lightning's heart stopped. She froze in her tracks before turning slowly to the direction of the voice. Unfortunately, Lightning knew the source of that voice all too well.

"You come to let me out? I always figured you to be the smarter one around here," Nabaat teased.

"You're gonna be behind bars like those for a long time, Nabaat."

"Oh? I want you to think very carefully about that."

Lightning knew two things about this woman. First, she was as dangerous as she appeared. Second, she was always a step ahead, somehow. If Nabaat told Lightning to be cautious, she meant it.

"Vanille's team caught you in that building with all of your… "merchandise." We have enough evidence to take you in for good." Lightning did her best to sound firm. Her last experience with this woman was powerfully intolerable, borderline traumatic.

"I want you to think about this very carefully," Nabaat began, "If I go down, that sets up everyone else who has taken part in this."

"And so it begins then. You and the rest of those like you will finally get what's yours."

"Tell me, Lightning. What makes the two of us so different? What makes you think that you won't share the same fate as me? With your help, we can both escape that inevitability." Nabaat's confidence only grew with each passing moment.

Her panic settled in with little warning. Lightning understood these words well. She had questioned herself before the same as Nabaat questioned her since the day she "purchased" him. While Nabaat may have remained the enemy, Lightning's answers to her questions only serve to feed her fear. Determined that she needed to leave, she turned about face before marching away. Lightning left the detained PSICOM officer with one last desperate utterance. "I'm nothing like you."

"You're just as guilty and I, and I have 50,000 pieces of evidence to prove it!" Nabaat called out with a laugh, "If this charge sticks, they'll come after you too. They'll have to. The law won't play favorites anymore, especially to someone like you. They'll take him away from you, and there won't be anything you can do to stop it!"


End file.
